


Sailorstuck! Collision Of Fates

by animefan1394, Lunyhime95



Series: Sailorstuck! [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Almost Everybody Wears A Skirt, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - No Sburb/Sgrub Sessions, Cohabitation, DON'T FORGET TO CHECK FOR ART, F/F, F/M, FTW, Gen, Human And Trolls Coexist, Interspecies Relationship(s), Literally Sailor Moon AU With Homestuck Characters, M/M, Magical Inu Girl Jade, Magical Neko Boy John, Maybe Illustrations, Me Trying To Cram As Mush Shit As Possible Into A Thing, Other Additional Relationships to Be Added, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, SailorStuck, Tuxedo Shades
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2017-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-12 04:41:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 36,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7085971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/animefan1394/pseuds/animefan1394, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunyhime95/pseuds/Lunyhime95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This dream you have almost every night is really getting on your nerves. Way too good to be true.</p><p>In other words, Karkat is about to get what he's always wanted but in the most stupidly, needlessly complex way that the universe thought possible.</p><p> </p><p>*THANK YOU GUYS!! PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude To The World

**Author's Note:**

> In Which An Author Shamelessly Self-Inserts Themself Into An AU Storyline, As Well As Ruining The Lives Of Countless Others--
> 
> Of Whom They Will Be Forcing To Dance Across The Stage For Either The Reader's Enjoyment Or The Reader's Fascinated Horror
> 
> Please, Enjoy Yourself~!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Precisely what it is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if i could figure out how the freakin' html or skin shit worked this would have looked so much cooler
> 
> BUT NOPE, BECAUSE I AM A FOOLISH FOOL AND I DONT UNDERSTAND ANY OF IT HERPDERPS (☉∀☉)~
> 
> Update! Co-author here with the ability to do the html things. You're welcome!

> TRANSMISSION LOG START

Star System:: Sol

Native Advancement:: Stage 4

DD:: 0i39494sba!!! > _ERR0r!! data is unavailable_

Type:: Water Planet//Earth

Dominant Inhabitant:: Human

 

Datalog::TOC; 14BP/4DM/2018E>>

 

> Nearly the entire majority of planet is hydrated. Atmosphere breathable. Surface breathable. Solar source does not burn; evidence of large amount of time spent on surface. 7 main land masses, unnoticeable shifting of top planet layer. Perhaps current geographical formation subject to change?

 

> Main advancing sapient species is/are human. Biology seems to be mammalian in origin. No known natural physical capabilities. Large community-based social structure. No unity under a single leader. No unified common language; multiple human subcultures, varying and dependent on although not limited to regional locations, giving reason to no known common tongue. Can become violent depending on many factors, such as opposing threat or stress levels, i.e. Her Imperious Condescension at the time contact was made. Can be adaptable.

 

> Varying climate levels across planet, including land mass and ocean mass.

 

> Livable and suitable to plant Matriorb. Trial Colony will be implemented first.

 

> Negotiations currently underway with the human's leader council. Procedural objective: Come to agreeable terms. Laughsassins on standby.

 

> Leader of 03qu9ery??--< _corrupted data has been removed_ < 

_...reloading..._

_...reloading..._

 

>Human politics have immediately appointed a temporary replacementttttt2938ry!! ERR0r!!\--< _...reloading..._ <

 

<< _this data is corrupted_ <<

< _attempting reload..._

 

<< _removing corrupted data_ <

 

<< _this data is corrupted_ <<

< _attempting reload..._

<< _this data is corrupted_ <<

 

< _attempting reload..._

> _data is missing..._

< _attempting reload..._

<<WARNING!!!YOU ARE NOT AUTHORIZED TO VIEW DATA!!!WARNING<<

 

< _attempting reload..._

<< _this data is corrupted_ <<

<< _this data is corrupted_ <<

< _attempting reload..._

 

 

<< _this data is corrupted_ <<

>Earth's council embraces intergalactic treaty offered by Her Imperial Condescension.

>End of data log entry #o0-3uelf!!< _data cannot be displayed_ <

 

END TRANSMISSION LOG<

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more updates soon guys!! sorry for the delay!! o(_ _)o
> 
> also I love my beta/moirail ((my diamond sky, my stardust, my moonbeam, palest edge~)) \\(^///^\\)


	2. In Which The Protagonist-- Oh Fuck It, Fuck Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dream, an encounter, and some douche-canoe. What's a poor sleep deprived troll to do?
> 
> In short, it seems today was just the day, and Karkat says 'fuck' a lot, what else is new?  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH FOR WAITING!
> 
> PLEASE SUPPORT THE OFFICIAL RELEASE!!

_This is a wonderful sort of dream you're having right now._

 

_Everything is bright and rosy, instead of the dull, drab and gray you insist on shrouding yourself in_ (actually, everything is in accordance to some of your tastes, but you will _adamantly_  deny it to anybody who asks) _. Your body feels so light and gleefully dizzy, like you're dancing, maybe? Your suddenly-there partner, clad in sweeps of black and gold, catches your attention by the wrist and spins you across the floor_ (is there even a floor? It's all haze to you. It _is_ pretty, though) _._

_There aren't any distinguishing features you can pick out of the dream fog, aside from that_ they _have a lot of height on you, and that they're wearing red gloves, as red as your unusual freak-blood. Strong hands and slender, artist fingers cradle your own; carefully and firmly, as if you were something_ precious _, somebody to be held and cherished; perhaps your subconscious is trying to play out one of your fantasies? This_ is _one of the many romantic tropes that you adore, you being a self-acclaimed connoisseur of affairs of the heart, and why should anybody judge you on things that you crave? In a dream no less._

_In fact, it has your pusher pounding, and even though you can't see their face, the feeling of being gazed at, not just staring, but_ **gazing** _, with complete and_ absolute adoration _, oh_ gods _, your body shivers_ (it's a little bit like when you’re really getting into one of your cheaply over-written, over-descriptive novels) _. For once, that you can even think of, you smile without even an ounce of disdain_ _._

_They glide you smoothly across pearlescent marble, as if you were actually as graceful as you feel. As if you could ever dance like this without tripping_ (because you're still waiting for that bump at the front of your shoes that means the world is about to tip you over) _. The two of you move fluidly in between the nonexistent crowd, faces that are almost there, but you just can't recall them, like your partner. You know them, you're sure you do, but you just...don't...Nothing_ clicks _._ (Right now, at least.)

 

_If only you could just remember where this is, because this is one hell of a case of deja vu. It feels so natural, but so far away, too. Like it's something important but it's just not there anymore._

 

_But this feeling! This thrill, to be dancing with them, they meant so much to you._ **Mean**   _so much to you. Their whole, complete attention is on you and only you, as if you two are the only people in the room, in the world. Just like something out of book. Like you've always wanted_ (but won't ever say) _. The feeling leaves you literally breathless._

_And when those lovely hands slide up your arms and rest on the small of your back, instead of feeling prickly and hypersensitive, you feel safe, secured, important. Treasured._ Loved _._ (Your chest burns with the sincerity of of your partner, as if they truly care for you, like in some of those silly types of loves that the humans like to believe in, the kind that is supposed to transcend all there is to quadrants and triumph every blade of antagonism that ever has and ever _will_ be swung. Tch, _puh-lease_.... _Oh, please_...) (The way you feel for them right now, this _must_ be it.)

_They draw you closer, and it's such a shame that your dream seems intent on keeping things blurry, because those lips are getting nearer_ (such deep, deep red eyes holding to you like you're the center of the universe) _and, oh my have you stopped dancing? The world seems to shift. Are you being dipped? Your lips have parted in anticipation, caught up in the moment. That's a hand on your neck, fingers lightly massaging familiar--_ they _are_ familiar, but yet you've forgotten somehow -- _intimate patterns on your skin, gently keeping you in place while your bodies seem to close the distance on their own. You'd be allowed to escape if you really wanted_ (but you _really_ don't) _._

So close _. So close, oh so close, you shut your eyes._ (It's everything you've dreamed about, everything you've _longed_ for, everything that stirs up some ancient, long-forgotten burning _ache_ deep inside you. Your heart is about to short circuit.) (It all feels so _perfect_.)

 

_If it wasn't a dream, you'd want for this feeling to last forever._

_But, as it happens, this dreamland has other plans for you_ (and as usual, you don't get the ending you want. Were you so terrible in a previous life that karma would follow you even into your dreams?).

_An ugly darkness consumes your beautiful rose-colored dream, withering quickly into a land of nightmares. The floor clouds over, the whole room wilts, warping into a cruelly twisted mock of the scene before. Things thrust upward from the ground, breaking through the marbled fog, horrid and terrible and jagged; piercingly cold and slick like the crudest slime, latching harshly to your body, leeching all of that previous warmth you were feeling only mere moments ago_ (it's so cold, so excruciatingly cold; why is everything going so dark, why are you afraid? Are you afraid for them? Or for you? What is this _pain_ , this _terrible_ , _crippling_ _pain_ that crushes your heart?) _. They_ **rend** _you and your lover apart, barely clinging on by the fingers._

_" **KARKAT!!** "_

_You hear them, but it's like you're listening through cotton, and somehow you immediately_ forget _how their voice sounds. One of those disgusting shadows constrict around your neck, while you're screaming out that person's name. You know you are, over and over, til your throat hurts something raw, but it's as if your voice has gone silent--_ for once, with very horrible timing at that -- _and you can't even recall the name you're shouting._

_More and more of that wicked dark oozes out, further enveloping you, until it finally rips you away from your partner's desperate grasp, the two of you reaching for each other uselessly, agony in your voices._

_You_ need _to get to them, you need to help. You need to_ protect _them._

 

_With that last slip of energy, you let out your final cry that suddenly is powerful and aural-splitting, even as your sight is devoured by this voracious dark_ \--

 

The intense shrill of the alarm grub has you snapping awake, breathing harsh and covered in sweat  _(of course you get hot at night, so it's not really that unusual, but right now this is near levels of Equius™ absurd),_ terror easing itself out of your head space. Just a dream.

 

"...stupid, shitfucking dreams, goddammit..." you groan, card claws over your scalp, bumping at a pair of too-small horns. What the hell? How many times is that now?

_Why?_

It's happened often enough for you to memorize, though admittedly the first time you didn't even remember until it happened _again,_ when you'd next gone to sleep. It's always so very beautiful, and somebody is _always_ there with you, whether it's just _that one_ person or an indefinite crowd that you have never been able to recognize. And always, that dark nightmare eats it all away and _swallows_   _you_  up along with it.

The alarm rings again, signaling the end of your five minute reprieve-- it's ten minutes to six. In irritation you swipe at it hastily, knocking the stupid thing to the floor where it clicks itself off  _(and nothing more,_ thank god _, that's the fifth one this month)._ You slide off your rest platform _(nobody uses sopor slime anymore, the substance was limited to medical use years ago, and was tested to be dangerously harmful in uncontrolled quantities, whether in or out of the hands of ignorant masses_ _)_ and reluctantly trudge a path to the ablution block; you don't want to risk being marked as tardy. You've managed to have a perfect attendance record so far and you are not going to let a stupid dream ruin that.

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, seven-point-six sweeps, or you guess sixteen human years? Spring is starting to transition into summer, which means that soon the school year will be over. Which means vacation. Which will also mean that you've survived yet another year of public schoolfeeding for adolescents. What joy. At least your wriggling day is coming up. But only in a couple of months, damn it.

Luckily you've managed to escape the morning screeching of your lusus, probably just by luck of the roe cubes you'd set out for him  _(and yeah, you guess you could sign up for hive-schoolfeeding, but then you'd be home twenty-four seven. Then again, you'd be home twenty-four seven)_. A rumbling sounds that signifies your digestive sac being agitated at you from lack of nourishment. You'll have to pick up something on the way  _(goddammit, you even packed extra for Gamzee, too. The towering idiot has been forgetting to feed himself. Or show up to school in general. Not that you've been feeling sorry or pale for him or anything! You're totally_ not _pale for him at all. Feelings? What feelings? There are no hidden romantic feelings, least of all any that you'd harbor for that giant rainbow clown ass-pile. The big lug is just so_ fucking pitiful _and_ \-- _shit, you probably have the hugest crush on him, you_ totally _have the hugest crush on him, it's not even funny),_ because you're sure as hell are not going to turn around now. It's quite obviously apparent how this day is going to go.

 

"Hey, hold it's legs down!"

"You try it then!! Stupid thing's scratching at me!"

"Hee, make it bark!"

 

_What the hell_. As you pass by, it's just a few pupas crouching in an empty lot, a couple of them human and the other a troll just as small _(you live in one of the many pre-set suburban, integrated communities. It's not the greatest, but you guess it's okay. In comparison to how it was when trolls first came to Earth, at least. Even blood fuck-ups like you aren't being killed off anymore. Or that's what you've heard used to happen anyway)_. There's a lot of spitting and yowling from whatever's between them. You almost keep walking, really, it has nothing to do with you. Then you get that dumb twang of guilt that makes you huff " _Oh fuck it_ " under your breath as you turn around and push over the fenced area," _HEY!!_ YOU BRATS, QUIT IT!!"

All it takes is for the little troll kid to see that you're much older, bigger than any of them-- a miracle --for him to close up their shenanigans and scram. There's a little black lump of shape on the ground, which actually turns out to be a cat. ' _The poor thing.'_  It won't even move now that it's attackers have finally left it alone. Shit, they've even gone and duct-taped it  _(oh boy, would Nepeta have a fit. Better you finding this than her, she'd have_ eaten _those kids)_ , it just seems to want to curl in pathetically on itself. You might as well get it loose of the sticky stuff, at the very least it won't suffer having to move with all of _that gunk_ stuck to it.

"They really pulled a number on you, huh...," you sigh with exasperation while you try to carefully pick off the tape without ripping out the fur,"Poor wretched thing, you shouldn't have gotten caught in the first place." It takes some time, but you've got a nice wad of tape next to you and minimal fur damage, hopefully. With the last bit finally eased off, you get a good look at the silvery striping along it's raven head, streaming down the back of it's sleek body. All in all, it's a beautiful stray.

As soon as it's free, though, it decides that it's suddenly perfectly fine and with a little _mrrr_ leaps out of your grasp, high up onto a neatly stacked pile of bricks. When you stand it's about level with your head, staring intently with slitted, narrow blue eyes  _(okay, yes, you've seen some meowbeasts with blue eyes, but damn those are just creepy and far from cute)_. Finally does your instinct want to kick in and get you moving _the fuck away_ as it steps forward, forcing annoyance to cover your mounting uneasiness,"I don't have time for this..." turning around and dusting off the pants of your uniform.

And really you don't, you've still got to hit up the corner store _and_ make it to the school grounds on time! _(Good luck with that!)_.

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

You are one _lucky_ motherfucker. You're barely in the door before the bell, and have at least five minutes or so to breathe until your homeroom teacher shows up _(luckier still is that he's even later than the rest of you)_. You've got your food things, your homework, Sollux's notes  _(he doesn't even need them, the asshole! How the fuck did he get the school records for the whole year plan_ _!?)_ , and even a honey bar to thank him  _(see how nice you are? You're so fucking nice, you should get a medal),_ and the sight of Gamzee peacefully spacing out at the window. In general, you're pretty much set to put your head down for the next few minutes. Damn you're feeling tired, stupid reoccurring dreams, fucking up your sleep schedule...

_(Perhaps you should switch to being nocturnal?)_

"Mornin' punks!"

 Welp, nevermind.

 

Somebody has the nerve to shout, "C'mon man, where's Miss Paint?"

"Yeah, where's Miss Paint?"

"I'd rather look at her all day than you!"

"SHUT YER TRAPS, ungrateful little snots..."

_(In all honesty, Miss Paint is an absolutely wonderful substitute teacher, and_ everybody _will be on their utmost_ best _behavior if she so much as_ steps _into the room.)_

 

Ah, the joy that is public school  _(maybe you_ should _consider hive-schooling)_. Mr. Slick slouches in and throws himself at his chair, file case slammed on the desk and fingers at his temples  _(probably nursing another weekend hangover, that would explain his sudden insistence to be on time)_. His hand drags over the scruffy five-o'clock shadow that hasn't been taken care of in days.

"You's all had better been good ta her. Miss Paint does me a huge ol' favor by keeping her eyes on ya."

You bet he thinks nobody caught how he shifts his eyes away from the room and how his gaunt-looking cheeks color just a little when Miss Paint is mentioned  _(he's so in love with her, you fucking called it how many months ago, some people owe you money)_ , it's honestly cute for a middle-aged man.

Mr. Slick clears his throat and sticks a customary toothpick between his teeth-- a replacement for cigarettes, he's been quitting off and on for a few months, for Miss Paint, you suspect --you wonder how long he'll last this time. He tries his hardest not to yawn and finds a nice piece of chalk to screech along the board.

"Fuggedaboutit, I figured she'd have gone easy on ya, made your heads all soft and mush, _so_...TEST RESULTS! I graded these especially ta make up for bein' gone!!"

He laughs a bit too enthusiastically while a collective groan of despair is released as papers are passed through each row of desks, you especially as your latest cause of stress has made it hard for you to grasp the learning material properly for a while. As in, you've been falling asleep in class. You mean, you were never any kind of star pupil to begin with, but this is just getting ridiculous now, with how much you've been getting behind. Sollux's notes will only get you so far _(and that's if you can even understand them half the time)_.

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

"I can't fucking believe it. This is the lowest I've _ever_ , scored on a goddamn test."

"Hey, it'th thtill pathing. 60 pointth ith not a failing grade."

" _Th_ ay _th_ the a _th_ hole who has full marks."

"C'mon KK, don't hate the player, hate the game."

"Oh my fucking god, who even says that," you roll your eyes and push off from the side of the building.

Gamzee, working down on the pre-packaged sandwich you brought him, has the nerve to say, "It ain't that bad, bro. S'not like you got no zero points, right?"

" _YOU!!_ You're just as bad as he is!" You turn on him, fingers trained on both him and Sollux, who pretends he's ignoring you by fiddling around with his husktop,"How in the FUCKING HELL do you even manage to get a near perfect score when you don't remember _any_ of the lesson material from this month!!?" _(No, seriously, how!?? You'd like a full goddamn report on how his perpetually high as hell sponge is even able to function enough for him to_ miraculously _know all the answers.)_

 

 

Nepeta watches a couple of humans across the field, that particular twinkle in her eyes when she's formulating whatever imaginative match-making scheme that will usually never come to bear fruit, twirling a bit of Equius' hair,"Y'know, Karcat, you've been looking real clawed-down lately. Purrhaps you haven't been getting enough sleep~? Maybe someone should quit reading all that late night fanfuriction~."

How dare she, "Nepeta, you know full-fucking well that you do the _exact_ same thing, don't you even try to say that to me, fanfiction my _ass_..."

"Nyeah, but I'm not the one purring it up in the middle of class," she smirks in that way that curls her mouth all sly and devious, her tail tip thumping lightly against Equius' back-- it's not really a tail, it's a flexible support rod covered in some plushie cloth that Equius made for her, after a hug gone quite wrong -- _exactly_ like a smug purrbeast. _(How she manages to make it move like it's actually a part of her nervous system will always perplex you.)_ "Whatcha dreaming about all the time Karkitten~?"

"I do _not_ purr in my sleep!! And I'm not dreaming about _anything_!"

"It would be most beneficial if you were to seek medical assistance, Vantas."

"Try telling that thtory to everybody elthe, KK--"

"Hey!"

"--So, any of you guys hear about that Vigilant appearance last night?" He manages to derail you _and_ change the subject like it's nothing, losing his usual lisp and swiveling the screen towards the rest of you. A news site is pulled up and two or three pictures are aligned with the article on the page, featuring a masked youth in the process of apprehending a couple of wrongdoers. A classic scene. Even with the top-quality, high definition pixels, the black-and-white pictures are still sort of blurry. It's hard to tell if the grey skin and horns are actually a troll or just a human in stupid cosplay.

"Terezi would go absolutely nuts for that shit."

"Yeah, she'd love that wouldn't she? Going around, catching criminals in the name of justice. That's for sure an interesting way to spend your free time."

"Where is she anyway? Is she sick again?"

"Maybe, she hasn't really been the same since, you know, last year, when Vriska..." Sollux trails off.

When Vriska went away, he means.

 

When you think to back then, the two of them had been inseparable, flip-flopping all over the place, unable to keep any sort of straight quadrant, and the very last straw was the Nitram and Megido incident, where Tavros is now near paralyzed from the waist down, nobody has  _seen_ or even  _heard_ from Aradia-- you could almost pity Sollux for the way he'd been pining since both her and Feferi went away, he'd been so down for the first few months --and Vriska had been sent to finish schooling elsewhere, where she'd be ' _monitored more carefully_ '. Everybody was sad and no one was happy.

It's a miracle that Gamzee and Equius are even here with you now. Of course Equius stayed because of Nepeta, though you're not too sure about why Gamzee did, but you are a fair amount glad about it. Feferi and Eridan were sent off to some fancy seadweller, highborn preparatory school place or whatever the fuck it is, and Kanaya was accepted to go to an all-girls academy. Tavros has been taking tutoring at home ever since.

 

In the end, it made Terezi's entire upstride, cackling nature take a noticeable downturn. When she does show up, she's gone just as quick, giving everybody that wide, sharp-toothed grin, but it just feels so dull these days. If your own vacillating crush on her wasn't in the way, you'd have been a perfect pale rebound  _(this is more so what you believe, not something that is actually true, mind. Also, it's probably wrong for you to think like that about the whole situation. Why would you even think of it like that? That's so wrong. You're probably a bad awkward breakup waiting to happen anyways)_. It's getting kind of bad to the point where all of you are sort of forgetting her, and you....

 

You're actually very afraid of that for some reason. _(You'd like to keep all your friends as close to you as possible, even the ones that are too far away. You don't want to forget about any of them, ever. Not after going through grubhood and everything together, after all that effort it took for you to care about them.) (It's so weird how you love them, despite the many flaws they carry, isn't it? But, that's why you love them, right?)_

 

"It might cheer her up a little, we'll tell her about it later." Everyone silently absolves to this, even Equius.

Sollux rotates his screen, and Gamzee has become heavily invested in the wrapper of a snack cake.

Nepeta scowls and sets her chin between Equius' horns, "Ohh, enough of this, we can't be sad while our furiends are sad. Who're they gonna rely on then...?"

Her face goes solemnly pensive for all of a moment before shifting back to her usually cheerful expression, poking at her moirail's cheeks from behind. "Equius~ Can you go with me today? I wanna sniff out if that one store is still having a sale. I heard they had some pretty good accessories. They're sellin' like they're clearing out or something! We might get a furry nice catch, nyeah?"

Equius almost snorts, standing up and straightening out his uniform. Attempts to do the same to Nepeta, however she is adamantly hooked onto his back, so he resolves to surrender that at least. "I'd prefer you didn't. It very well may be a scam, if anything. If you need a new trinket, I feel it would do us better to go somewhere more trustworthy. The period bell is about to ring."

You hear them argue about it almost the whole way back inside the building. Knowing Nepeta, she'll probably end up doing as she pleases, with a patented "Nobody tells the mighty Longclaw what to do!!"™  _(Honestly, they're such a good diamond match, maybe someday you'll get yours?)_. Might as well head back. "C'mon, pack it up, we gotta go."

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

As expected, you spot Nepeta hanging onto the entry of a specialty store, as well as few other students wearing your school's uniform. And she was right, there are _huge_  posters pasted up on almost every available surface of the wall-shared building, numbers bright and flashy to attract peoples eyes, advertising to the masses the lowest prices you've really _ever_ seen for jewelry. You're so tempted on going in to check if they have a piercing special, like if you buy a pair of studs or earrings maybe they'll do the piercing for free. Or even just find some nice looking accessory, something small, it doesn't have to be huge, like a key chain. Or a pin. Or...

 

_...._

 

Wait.

You don't even have much pocket money at the moment anyway, and you're probably going to get a clacking when you get home, considering how your custodian might feel about your test grade. Better not to waste time or money here anyway.

Yeah, you should probably just go home and get it over with.

Even if it weren't for the weird dreams, you wouldn't get enough sleep anyway. With or without annoying, incessant dreams.

But, all things considered, you're still pissed off. With much lingering aggression returning to full power as you look over your papers once more. "Ugh, FUCK THIS SHIT!!" Irritated, you crumple them up and chuck the damn thing up in the air, not bothering to look where it lands. And feeling perfectly content if it gets lost, a rather ticked off huff of breath blowing past your lips along with another expletive. 60 points your _ass_.

 

"Nice aim by the way, Shouty McNubs."

You turn and almost give yourself whiplash from how fast you move, half a snarl leaking from your throat. "What the _fuck_ did you just call _me_!?"

"Wow dude, just 60 points?" The bastard whistles.

"Don't just read other peoples shit!"

The asshole is some prancey-schmuck-fuck-looking douche with silvery hair and a dumb pair of shades fixed to his face. He's got your test in front of him, unwrinkled, a finger pointing out every single mistake you made on that stupid piece of paper, everything that you already knew you'd done wrong. You stomp the few paces up to him and-- oh wow, he's fucking tall --snatch your quiz out of his nosy hands.

"You really should study harder, Nubby."

"You really should shut the fuck up and mind your own business, douche-nozzle."

 

 

You leave him with an obvious growl and storm back to your home route, "AND YOUR SHADES LOOK DUMB!" Unbelievable _._  The nerve of some people. Just out of curiosity  _(or even paranoia)_ , you glance behind to see his attention now focused wholly on the jewelry store instead.

"...fuckass weirdo..."

 

You won't even give him the satisfaction of you still being upset enough to keep thinking about him. In fact, you're just going to _ignore_ him and forget the interaction entirely. Just keep on walking home, you won't even stop by the arcade.

_(You totally stop by the arcade, there's a race for the gaming industry to be the first to make a Vigilant game, and there's a new machine installed at your usual place with your name and your tokens graffitied all over it.)_

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

A young man stands outside a recently flourishing establishment, seeming to take forever to read each and every single poster sign that's been plastered to the building. Then your reflection stares back at you through your favorite set of eyewear-- they were a birthday gift from your bestest, childhood bro, and you honestly think that there isn't a single thing you could ever come up with that would top it --just watching the mass horde of people flock like vultures to this teeny, out-of-the-way shop. Who knew that such a simple change of design would make you unrecognizable? Absolutely genius.

Some people just don't appreciate a good pair of shades, like Short, Loud and Crabby™ five minutes and seventeen seconds ago, eighteen, nineteen, twenty...

Of course you knew that you're totally not about to pass up any chance to visit your home country, especially after all this time. When else were you gonna get a chance to visit Good Ol' Nanna Crocker _(this totally has nothing to do with that voice in that back of your head that keeps repeating-- **not long, not enough, short short short, time is running out dude, tick tick tock** \--)._

And anyways, this means you can visit your bestest bro. Ahh, such fond memories of Egdork, you cry every time. Maybe Jade will be there too, who knows? Your sister too, gotta remember to hit her up on the visiting scale. Dirk is going to want to sneak off with you anyway, he hasn't seen Roxy in forever. The agent dude can piss off and take an afternoon for all you care.

All that aside, this lovely establishment that you're loitering in the entryway of is seriously giving you some real funky vibes and making your whole body shudder **_(out of time, there's not enough, tick-tick-tick-ti-)_**.

Mm, yeah, nope. You'll come back later. But, hey, you just thought of a new beat to try out on your tables!

As you're leaving, a troll with pretty-kitty horns takes attention to you with wide, surprised eyes and mounting hype. So much for the shades.

You hope your simple charm is enough as you give her a finger-gun and put one to your lips. She nods with excitement and let's you leave quietly with a thumbs up _(if you ever see her again you'll have to get her a nice thank-you gift, you make a note of that)_. Glompede avoided, thank you for your assistance, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, where was the house again?

_(Turns out you were in the wrong city entirely, and you were supposed to be in the next town over. You'll have to call Dirk to come get you. How lame. Then again, his ride has got some serious speaker perks, and the two of you can blast 'A Thousand Miles' while you drive over to the Crocker-Egbert property.)_

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

Just as you are locking the door behind you, Crabdad scurries into the entry block, chitter-clicking in one of his more gentler greetings  _(almost like he's been anxious or worried, but it's probably just your imagination)_.

"Hey, I'm home," you sigh, accepting the inevitable. Crabdad lightly grazes a claw against the side of your horn, seeming to be a bit calmer than this morning. "Listen, don't be mad, okay? I'm going to tell you something, alright?" You take a nice, deep inhale to your air sac and let it blow out slowly, your caretaker making questioning rumbles. "...Okay, so I got my test score back, and...and it's not great in any way, at all, but...ugh, I got a pretty low score...so"

You face towards the floor, expecting a clack on the head from mega-hammer claws and a disappointed screeching. What you get instead is a surprising, if not patronizing, gentle claw-tap and light and low croaking. Unexpected still is how you get nuzzled by a chitin-armored maw, given a scrutinizing check over and then left in the entryway of your hive.

 "...O...okay?" That wasn't weird at all. After you get over whatever that was that just happened, you cautiously tread to the nutrition block to raid the thermal hull, and maybe leave some extra roe out for Crabdad. And you are seriously going to get some homework done  _(afterwards you'll go back to prepare lunch for tomorrow, and be doubly sure that you won't forget it when you leave for school. You swear that you're beginning to see Gamzee's ribs through his uniform)_.

 

A couple hours later, after putting everything away and clearing up your nutrition block, you've said good night and locked up the house, completely retire to your block.

_(While you do make something for tomorrow, you also end up getting frustrated with the work page and Sollux's notes to the point that you end up playing around on your husktop until you fall asleep. You can finish it faster in the morning anyway, maybe.)_

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

"And as the night falls over the people, so too does darkness."

"You think of that one by yourself?"

"...Shut up, you unhelpful shit."

"Aww, don't be like that, you'd get lonely if I didn't talk to you, anyways."

"Pfft, sure."

 

You swing your legs back and forth. It's a pain, but you will admit they're good company. If they did want to leave you, though...it would probably hurt something awful, but you could get over it.

Maybe?

Who knows...

 

"Besides, all there is to do is talk. It's not like we can take any action ourselves. All we can do right now is watch and wait. Wouldn't you have taken action already if you could?"

"Of course, you dumb. Even if that was the case, we still shouldn't interfere. Not yet anyway. The best case scenario is that we don't do anything at all. You understand that, right?"

"Okay, fine. Buuuut, we could do something else, y'know?

"...Meh, I'm afraid to ask. Like what?"

 

They've got that sly look on their face that tells you whatever it is, you're not going to be amused. Nip it right in the bud.

 

"Absolute no."

 

The way their whole manner deflates makes you laugh wholeheartedly. That at least cheers them up some. 

 

You both will just have to wait some more, you guess.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Looking for voluntary betas! Any and all critical criticism, opinions and corrections are much appreciated!
> 
> Please enjoy this series!!!


	3. It's Going To Be One Of Those Nights, Isn't It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That one time the magic talking cat coerced you into a job.
> 
> Or else known as, that moment when weird shit starts happening to you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took way too long to update this, but i got it finally
> 
> ((SCREAMING "FINALLY!!" TO THE ETHERPLANES))

 

_"You from the embassy?"_

_He asks you, goblet in hand. Casually leaning against one of the many gazebo that belong in the old garden. Looking every bit (to you, at least) like some prince out of a novella. Except you're not sure if any of those were especially portraying any alien princes. Less so any with silly looking visors constantly over their eyes, even when the sky is too dark for it. Was he here the whole time? Or did he follow you out?_

_The border palace of Prospit and Derse is much larger than one would think, if what you've learned about the past of these coexisting people who reside on this-- small --planet is anything to go by. The way the sky also seems to split, much like the land itself, is a mind-shattering concept. The native people's magic, and probably--_ most likely _\--that of their respective royalties, is what keeps this strange anomaly intact._

_However, here at the border of the two nations, the result of both the countries' kings and queens gathering together in one place for the past month seems to affect the way the atmosphere forms. The Prospitian day is as bright as any Alternian sun (you will never admit that within the first few days of landing, you did not even step outside. Come to find out that the planet's sun was too far from it to burn your skin off), and the Dersian nights are much colder and darker than any you've ever seen, only the light of Prospit blazing right on through through._

 

_The Dersian prince is still expecting an answer, and there's a nagging thought of how it just would not do to misrepresent your planet or disrespect your Empress by being ill-mannered,"Yes, sir. Cardinal Vanguard, Knight Vantas, Peace Conqueror under Her Radiant Compassion's rule. A pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lord of Derse."_

_Your introductory is perfect, of course. Peixes-- it's so strange to think of Feferi as a full-fledged Empress now --didn't give the whole teamforce etiquette and language lessons for nothing, even if these peoples mannerisms are weird and their words feel dull on your tongue. Can you believe it? The two of the colonies are some sort of mammalian species that branched away and developed all on their own. Despite uncanny similarities and obvious differences, for the most part it's really quite fascinating._

_And then there's the carapacian portion of the population, but they just as well bring their society's wholeness._

 

 _He raises the arch of an eyebrow_ (a perfect, dark line, a contrast to the fairy-white upon his head) _, and you'd like to think you can see his eyes widen in awe beneath his glass shade, instead of the suddenly sly, aloof curve of lip,"Oh?" His voice takes a turn to sultry_ (or that's what he's trying to do, considering how flat it sounds  ~~what's more is that it's working goddamn~~ ) _,"An official, hmm?"_

_"...Right. Was there something you wanted?"_

_The start of a bad pick-up line always did irk you-- there would be days on Homeworld where you'd stare intently, endlessly at a singular line on a page, an infernal scream just barely held back in your vocal box --and your own mouth is forced to twitch upwards. You have to remind yourself 'Do not punch the alien royalty, you are a Soldier of Peace, you need to uphold morale and be an example to your people. You are here in representing your Empress's name, make good on that'._

 

_Oh, but the massive urge to just...deck him a good one. But nevermind, you refrain. You didn't survive this whole time to risk execution on a foreign planet._

_"There's nothing wrong with a bit of friendly conversation, is there?" He sounds only just disappointed, taking a sip of the dark liquid sloshing lowly in his glass. You can't tell, but you're sure that his eyes still haven't left you. The way it feels is like he's sizing you up, figuring out what advantage he has over you, what the best stratagem might be to take you out; at least he's smart enough to understand that you might be a possible threat, nevermind that you actually are. (_ Then again, these people have their natural gift of actual fucking magic, so maybe not.)

 

_"I suppose not. We are supposed to be on good terms with each other. My Empress and our people will be leaving shortly though. Is it even worth it if this will be the last we see of each other?"_

_"Karkat..."_

_His voice sounds different, his face sadder; worried. How does he know your name?_

_Wake up..."_

_There's suddenly a glimmer, strong enough beyond the visor_ (red, red, red, such a pretty red. Much prettier than yours) _. He's suddenly too close, hands on your shoulders, your neck, gliding to your face; something holds you back from ripping them off. This is way more than friendly._

_"You need to wake up."  Lips, lips, pale lips--_

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

There's something in your block.

 

You stare into your comforter while the quiet _shhfff_ of your window opening booms in your aurals, frozen stiff under the covers.  Someone or something tumbles onto your floor, light, almost noiseless. There's nothing else for a while, you're about to knock it off as a dream until the edge of your bed dips; you go rigid.

How fast are you? How fast can you get to your sickle under your pillow? How fast can you swing it, before your intruder has a chance to do whatever it is they want to do to you? Can you even _move_ right now? _(You can't, oh fucking god you're so scared right now, you're probably about to die.)_

 

You can't remember the last time you'd been this scared. _(That's a lie, you remember quite clearly. When you were two and a half sweeps and everybody else had already left the playground and you thought that_ no one was coming for you _and_ you were all alone.)

Now or never, you've got to look, maybe it'll be nothing, just your head playing tricks on you _(you know it's too late for that, considering you are actually very much awake)._

You gather up what fool's courage you have and throw your body into sitting, staring straight on at your invader.

 

_It's a fucking goddamn cat._

Not a fucking goddamn cat, _the_ fucking goddamn cat. From this morning. Silver marks lining down its black body. Still fixing you up with that creepy-ass stare like it's thinking of how best to eat you.

Just. Why.

 

"Wh-- I'm at least _three_ floors up, so how??"

What does it want? And why is it here? _(How the FUCK did it find you!?)_

"...Did you follow me or something?" If you give it a bit of thought, you probably smell like Crabdad, or at least smell like his roe cubes,"Ugh, I bet I probably smell like some kind of fish food to you..."

You rub at your temples and stuff the comforter in your face to block your line of sight,"No, wait. Maybe I'm just dreaming. Yeah, that's it," That has to be it. You mean, you don't have any doubt that a cat could scale a whole building if it wanted to. It's the fact that _this_ specific cat came into _your_ room. Specifically. You lift your head to stare hard at your intruder,"...Or somehow I'm just inclined to dream about weird cats with creepy-ass eyes."

"Oh come on, my eyes aren't that bad. That's just rude."

" _AAGH-- THE FUCK!!?_ "

 

You will deny that you threw yourself as far from the bed as possible. It speaks.

 

"W-what the hell!? You--I--what? I have to be dreaming, right? Okay, yeah, I'm dreaming, this is another one of those weird dreams. H-ha, yeah okay, just another dream." You reassure yourself, unconvincing as you sound. You must have taken _something_ before sleeping.

 

It laughs,"Pfff-no, dude, I flew--"

"Oh yeah, definitely dreaming. At least they're getting creative now."

"I really did though! C'mon, you're totally not dreaming!" It manages to do its best impression of a cat being annoyed,"Anyways~ Y'see, I've actually been looking for you for a _loooong_ time. You can call me John. It's nice to meet you properly, Karkat!"

"Oh would you look at that, it knows my name. Without me telling it, that's totally not a dream thing."

"Oh!! And you just reminded me, thank you very much for helping me out this morning!" It, or _John_ , keeps going as if you're actually buying it. Which you are not. "Oops, and sorry for not recognizing you earlier."

"You know what, I think I would have remembered meeting you. Not counting this morning. Seriously, you'd think that this would've been a memorable encounter."

"....You're not really listening at all, are you?" You shake your head. "....It's still a dream to you, isn't it?" You nod, quite vigorously.

 

It, or _he_ , groans,"Oh, c'mon!! Of course, the one time I'm trying to be serious. I even brought you a present!"

 

He paws at his neck, ringing a bell that must be hidden underneath fur, and unwinds a rusty-looking hunk of metal on a slim chain, also very rusty.

 

"...And, why do I want this?"

"Hmm, would you believe me if i said it will make all of your dreams come true?" he says hopefully.

"Fuck no."

"Dammit. How about...it'll grant you magical powers and stuff to help you defeat strange and evil things that may or may not be aloof right now?"

"That's gonna be a nope."

"Didn't think so, but worth a try. Oh well...what if I--"

"Look, I really appreciate you trying, as far as dream apparitions go, to spice up the variety a little, but I should probably, y'know, _sleep_?"

He makes this very annoyed sound and glares,"....You know what, here, just hold it," he tosses it with a twist of his head into your palms. You end up catching it before you can refuse. He stares intensely,"...Well? Anything?"

There _is_ a nicely blooming pain around your temple and your knuckles are beginning to itch, but other than that, you don't... _feel_ anything else? Maybe? Does he mean the insistence of the dream wanting to fool around with your subconscious?

 

"...Err...?"

"Oh--uhm, wait! Try this!" He jumps into a very dumb-looking pose-- or rather cute but still awkward-looking for a cat --his bell ringing with the motion," _'Cancer Prisma Power, Make Up!'_ Say that!"

"Like hell--"

"Just do it! If you do it and nothing happens, t-then I'll leave, I promise! You won't ever have to see a single trace of me. I'll literally disappear, like the breeze! Cat's honor!"

 

That makes you trust him even less. But it's the sad, gloomy tone of this kitty that gets you. Totally not the weird tingle that goes down your spine as a coincidental brush of wind comes in through the still-open window. _(It's totally not the twisting feeling in your gut that if the cat leaves you're going to feel so sad.)_

"...Alright, give me a moment," you comply, reluctant and skeptical as you are. Your limbs awkwardly do a poor imitation of the cat's pose.

 

_Here goes...._

 

" ** _CANCER PRISMA POWER, MAKE UP!!_** "

 

You most definitely are not expecting the geyser of the brightest light, sparkles, and incandescent swirling of colors to _blind_ you from everywhere and nowhere, all at once. Instead of imploding into panic as you'd have usually intended, it's surprisingly relaxing. Your body seems to move on it's own, being directed by soft, glancing feather-touches, the feeling of silk running over your bare skin _._ Not just your skin, but against your soul, heart, spirit, _whatever_. Against your very being. And all there is for you to think about is that one, distinct _feeling_. The one that makes you almost _dread_ going to sleep, and the same for waking up. Because when you do, it's all gone, and you're just _you_. The light strips you bare, down to nothing, rends you apart _entirely_. Then builds you back up, layer by layer, piece by piece. 

 

There is the purest feeling of _something_ , and you don't have any words for it.

 ★♋★

By the time you come out of it, whatever _it_ was, you feel _hells_ of light-headed and unusually hyped with a dizzying amount of energy. Like you've had a whole pot of coffee loaded with all the sugar and energy slush you could ever have and your body is just ready to fucking _go._

 

"Whu...?"

John's eyes are lit up with joy, completely over the moon, like that of child who's just received all his wriggling presents on a completely normal day.

"Urghh, my fucking _head_...the hell was that?" You keep trying to shake your head clear of the suddenly muzzy haze, your legs feeling unsteady out of nowhere. For some reason it feels like there's dust or glitter in your eyes.

"Take it easy. How about you just give yourself a moment, 'kay?"

" _Okay...?_ " It's at that point your legs decide that they just _fail_ at everything, so instead of taking a single, simple step, you're tumbling down like some newly born mammal that doesn't understand how legs work. Fortunately, the floor is carpeted. Unfortunately, you can see yourself now. The breezy cold chill up your legs make much more sense, because that is one of the shortest skirts you've ever seen. _(Let alone_ worn _. You're not that brave.)_

You may have shrieked,"F-- What--where!?" Proper sentence structure seems to be a lost art all of a sudden

The really suspicious _(because he wasn't already)_ cat swipes at his ear,"For the record, I did nothing. That's all you, dude." 

"What the _fuck_...!?"

A quick check in the mirror gives you the sight of the whitest leotard you've ever seen, even in the dark of your room, adorned with bright alarm-red ribbons and a gray miniskirt that only comes down at the end of your hip _( ~~rising trepidation aside, the costume is actually quite flattering and shapes your figure very nicely and~~ \-- you have said NOTHING. YOU ARE STILL PANICKING ABOUT SUDDENLY NOT BEING IN **YOUR**  OWN CLOTHES, THAT IS STILL BEING A THING THAT IS GOING ON RIGHT NOW)_.

The hunk of metal now sits right in the middle of your chest bow, shining and polished with a glittering ruby in the shape of a signsake _._  Like it was never old and rusted to begin with. A tiara wraps snugly around your head, and barrettes sit perfectly at the bed of your horns. You even get a silky pair of ball-gown gloves, the kind that go all the way to your elbow. Remember how you wanted your ears pierced? They are now. And a pair of some actually fine kick-ass boots.

Dream or not, you want out.  _(You honestly look like something that came out of one of Nepeta's comic books.)_

 

"So~ since it fits and everything--"

"What do you mean ' _since it fits_ '!!? Explain this, please!?"

"I'll tell you, but this means I can stay, right!? Well, not _stay_ -stay, but I won't have to leave forever and ever and disappear into the wind, never to be seen or heard from again!?...At the very least, that's what you promised, right?" The unusual grin reminds you of Nepeta way too much, and looks way too person-like in your opinion.

"Eugh, don't-- don't ever make that kind of face please, that's just scary."

 

"What's wrong with my face!?" He then sits up straight and rigid, suddenly serious,"Alright, alright, okay. Serious mode," The cat takes a deep inhale,"Karkat, I really need your help."  _(How the hell does his voice just fucking drop like that? Can you get your voice to drop like that?)_

 

"I need you to understand that your transformation was only possible if you were more than just a troll," Again, that piercing blue stare has you, and you are compelled to neither move or speak. Every word seems to ring with some force of... _something_. There's some form of a cynical remark waiting to get free of your mouth, but it just doesn't come. Can't do anything but hear what John has to say. "Because you are. You're a warrior now, chosen by a fate long set from a different time. A Sailor Soldier under the protection and guidance of the stars. Sailor Cancer."

John acts as if he is addressing a more formal audience instead of some poor guy who was in his pajamas,"I made no jest when I mentioned strange and evil things happening. It is actually happening now. People have either changed, become a twisted version of themselves and committed to obeying these dark forces and urgings. Or they have gone missing entirely, abducted and taken to be used however it is to be seen fit," he looks down, seeming very grave. You would not be able to take the look seriously if you weren't so intent on focusing on his words,"If I could take care of it myself, I w-would! Honest!...I, I just can't...," John's voice shudders, shakes with a sob trying to come through. It makes his voice crack more like that of someone in your age group.

 

He looks back up at you, wide-eyed an nearly on the verge of tears, begging,"Please _help_ me. _Please_ believe me."

 

Then there's the buzz of your cell device vibrating, and the ringtone goes off. 

"...Besides, don't you need to go help your friend?" John's crocodile tears are gone, replaced by the winner of creepiest looks you've seen today, as he leers towards your mobile.

 

You snatch the damn thing off your night table, surprised. Slowly becoming more and more concerned by his words. The I.D. screen says it's Equius, of all people. What the fuck is he calling you for, he _never_ calls you. With much reluctance, you slide the lock-screen to answer.

"Do you have _any_ fucking clue what ti--"

"Kark-- _Vantas_!! Please, tell me she's with you!"

"What, who!! What's going on!!?"

" _Nepeta!!_ She hasn't _called_ \--! I-- She _always_ calls when sh-she arrives home! She's not answering the home phone, or her mobile, and she's not _online_ , _she's not even home_ \--!" From how he trips over his words, stuttering and sounding like a complete wreck, something has happened to Nepeta. _(Go figure, genius.)_

"Where have you looked for her!?" You thought she'd gone home _hours_ ago. The last time you saw her--

"I've circled all around her neighborhood, neither human or troll have seen her since this morning!!"

"The jewelry shop..."

"...What?"

"Did she tell you she was at the jewelry shop!?"

" _What!?_ I-- Even thou--"

You've already hung up before you have to listen to him rage about what he told her to do or not. This is what seems to finally break you out of your dream delusion.

 

The phone lands with a soft thud against the carpet, slipping from your hand. Hardly taking the energy to move at all-- because you are too stiff with fearful concern about Nepeta --you glare icily at John, asking dangerously,"...What did you do?"

He snickers, the little bastard,"To be truthful, I've done nothing but try to prevent this sort of thing from happening," he sighs sadly, almost looks it too, when he murmurs,"It doesn't usually work out too good..."

You swallow and reluctantly bite out words you were hoping you wouldn't say relating to the past hour,"What do I need to do?"

 

Upon hearing that, John immediately chippers up and grins,"Well, things aren't going to get done by us sticking around here and playing with our thumbs Or at least, you won't, I don't think I have thumbs at the moment. C'mon, _out_ the window!"

You pretty much trip and throw a hand on a nearby fixture for support" Whoa, _hell_ no. _You_  can feel free as fuck to do that. I don't know about you, but I can for sure tell you that I have _no_ death-preventing capabilities that will save me if I so much as _sit_ on the window sill."

He rolls his eyes, refocuses on you and then you're being lifted by unknown forces the wind blowing more steadily through your open window. Of course, you freak out," _H-HEY!!_ What the fucking-- put me _down_!!"

"Down? Sure." John leaps up to the sill, simpering kitty moue curling, then pushes right the fuck off.

 

And then you're falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will try to get these out quicker, also art is coming up!! I promise!!
> 
> ((also, quick question: should I separate the dream parts, or are they fine as part of the chapters?? any and all input on this would be much appreciated!!))


	4. Action! Debut, Sailor Cancer!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welp, it seems you're doing the thing.
> 
> Alternatively, where Karkat goes and does The Thing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to check back for art! I may have put up some by now~!

Oh no...

You've got to get out of here. Swift and without a trace. What would Huntress Longclaw do?

Well, she'd _actually_ have her claws with her for one. Yours are at home in the back of your closet still, and your finger-claws have just recently been trimmed. You hope to god you don't have to use them and ruin the pretty nail art Equius did for you.

And he should have _just came_ with you in the first place anyways! You don't need him buying stuff for you all the time, even if he wants to!! You just wanted to see what the damn store had! NONE OF IT WAS EVEN GOOD ANYWAY!!

" _Come out, come out~_ , little troll. Wouldn't you like some pretty jewelry~? Some lovely stones to replace your eyes when I _rip them out!!?_ "

The shop attendant-- no, _it_ , cackles, all kinds of ugly and chilling. If you had fur, it would be for sure standing right up the way your tail is.

 

It was all fine earlier too. And you think you met a celebrity!! But then everyone started fainting, coincidentally at the same time. You'd been looking at a stand of pieces when the girl next to you just collapsed.

And another.

_And another._

Then there were a lot of _thuds_ on the floor, and then you saw all the _bodies,_ a _-_ and the monster just  _rips_ out of the shop lady's skin like a bad horror movie.

 

You hid of course, but only after it had already caught sight of you. Not very huntress-like on your part.

 

You can hear it moving somewhere behind your hiding spot, and you have both hands over your mouth to keep yourself quiet. You want Equius a _lot_ right now.

There's a crash that makes you jump, an accidental squeak pushes past your hands  _(also not very huntress-like)_. You desperately try to get your breathing back under control. However, gleeful caws tell you it might be too late.

" _Kekeekeekee_ ~!! Found you, you little _rat_!!"

 

Oh.

Oh _hell_ no.

 

Fuck the nail art _(not really, but a cats gotta claw what a cat's gotta claw)_.

 

"I ain't a _fucking rat_ \--!!"

 

 

You _had_ claws raised, but there are hard, cold and clammy fingers blocking your airway _(and you imagine this must be what a mummy feels like)._ Your own hands now scrabbling and scratching at balmy dead skin to free your throat. It's got it's ugly, decaying mug right up in yours.

"Doesn't matter, you all _die_ the same!! I'll send all of you to the other world together!!!"

You stare into blackened, beady eyes that feel like they're drawing you in, swallowing you whole.

This is it, isn't it? 

_(You just wish you could have seen Equius one more time.)_

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

You're dead. You're so goddamn dead. You were thrown out the window by a _fucking magical talking cat of all things_ oh god you're so dead.

 

"Nice scream. Could wake up the _whole_ city. It's okay, I didn't need my ears or anything. Heh, _jk_. C'mon, open your eyes, bud."

 

Okay, so you're not dead. Just outside, behind your complex, a little below your window. Still being levitated by mentioned magical talking cat.

" _Agghck--!??"_ It takes a bit to process _(not like everything since you woke up to this point_ hasn't _needed processing, but what's a guy to do in this sort of situation?)_. As soon as speaking normally is possible, you take the time to say,"Don't drop me, _don't you dare drop me!_ "

John snorts,"Oh relax. I wouldn't anyway, you _are_ quite a bit important, y'know? Kinda sorta need you alive and all."

"Whatever," you groan. Need you alive _your ass_. He needs you alive to do his dirty work for him.

 

You finally make touchdown with solid concrete and end up nearly meeting it with your face. 

However, John decides to _literally_ sweep you off your feet with a strong blast of wind, and now you are  _flying_ down the street, you screaming the whole way. You hope to _god_ nobody wakes up.

★♋★

 

 

Unlike this afternoon, the shop is eerily quiet and empty. And dark. Not a single person is to be seen, even though the doors still have a flickering _' OPEN'_ sign up front.

 

"Ugh, it's creepy as hell out here," you grimace and rub the sudden cold off the exposed bit of your arms.

John trots up next to you, nudging up against your leg,"Alright, you feel anything bad?"

"..."

"...What?"

"...Never mind. Remind me to get therapy later."

"No, really, what!?" He gives you a good eyeroll,"Ugh, forget it, let's go already!"

 

The glass door opens noiselessly, and all the lights stay off, as if nobody's there. John's little paws silently pad onto the tile, his ears flicking as he turns his head, probably scouting (it's fucking adorable, you will give him that). There's a little click of the heel of your shoe on tile when you enter.

"Hey, you remember when I said it was creepy outside? I take it back, _this_ is _hells_ of creepy."

"What's that on the floor?" John walks towards some lump of shape on the ground. Investigating whatever it is, gasping," _Oh my god_ , it's a _body_."

" _What!?_ "

 

Suddenly, there are many _more_ slumped forms on the floor, all of which you can now _clearly_ tell are in fact bodies of people, humans and trolls.

You immediately step backwards,"Okay, nope, I'm leaving."

" _Karkat_! C'moooon, we gotta save your friend!!" He practically whines, dashing behind you and shoving you surprisingly hard further into the building. You end up moving anyway so that you don't trip over him.

"Okay, okay, _okay_!! I wasn't _actually_ going to leave, _god.._." You want to, though. Oh shit-balls, you _really_ want to. The way this place makes you feel is just... _eughh_. There aren't any words to describe it, other than feeling the _dread_ creep over your skin. _(It makes you shiver and tenses your spine and you_ really _hate that feeling.)_

 

"Let's go, I smell something _waaay_ off over here!" He runs off towards the back doors that say 'Employees Only', with you going blindly after him.

 

The doors are thrown open with a nice _bang!_ , and you come across a _for-real_ fucking corpse of a monster, holding your friend by the throat. A warped, blade-like appendage that extends from where a hand should be is poised to stab straight through Nepeta. A mix of desperation, relief, fear and frothing rage begins to bubble forth. There's a bit of some unnamed _urge_ to get to her as quickly as possible, get her _out_ of there _(the drive to **protect** )_, but your body isn't as confident as that force. At the very least, your voice is luckily able to make up for the lack of action.

 

" ** _YOU GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF HER!!!_** "

 

It freezes almost comically, and the head turns all the way a- _fucking_ -round like something out of a Demon Ritual movie _(are you fucking kidding, it looks like someone tried to revive a corpse and forgot every other step and skipped right on to 'Make it alive~!')_.

 

"And _who_ are you?"

"That's _my_ question, what the fuck is _you_ , corpsefucker!?"

 

John actually tries to facepalm, which in his current state of being is just mashing a paw to his little scrunched up mouth.

 

"I, uh...I mean...," There's no reason for you to be doing this, but you might as well play along until you finally wake up _(right, because you totally didn't already clarify to yourself that this_ isn't _a dream)_. You clear your throat and somehow the first things that tumble out of your mouth is,"I... _am_ the Lovely Sailor Warrior of Romance and Passion, Sailor Cancer!" What really gets you is when your body decides to move without permission,"In the name of the previous world before us," as the last of the magically spontaneous word dribble leaves, you start coming back to yourself,"Let the weight of the Irons drag you back to where you belong!" You end with your middle finger pointing in its direction, unbelieving of what you just said and did  _( ~~you are totally writing that down later, that is some good word vomit right there~~ )._

 

" _HAH!!_ Sailor Cancer!? I've never heard of such a stupid thing!" It does drop Nepeta at least-- _thank god, she's still in one piece_  --then turns it's whole body to align with it's neck, bones and skin cracking and shrinking back into place  _(ugh, disgusting)_. Arms raised, it screeches,"That's just fine, you _both_ can die!! Rise, dear foolish puppets who were taken in by the brilliance of gems and gave up their energy for _materialistic greed_! Rise for the sake of our Lord who slumbers! _I'll send you all down to the Dark World together!!!_ "

There is a mass shuffling from all over, and all of the previously unconscious bodies are uncannily struggling to stand. Some even crawl and drag themselves toward you. They all have the same dead, blank-faced look and empty eyes, and they zombie-stalk to you and John.

 

"O-okay, what the hell, John? This dream is becoming a nightmare."

" _BECAUSE IT'S NOT A DREAM_. Don't just stand there dummy,  _run_!!"

 

You move out of the way in time as a troll staggers at you, end up pulling some kind of dance while somebody else makes a lunge. They end up forcing you into the hands of someone on the ground and you have to kick them off quite hard _(somebody is going to have a nasty bruise later, you can guarantee that)_. It becomes an awkward game of dodging and trying not to have anything or anyone touch you _(you even start to enjoy hitting people)_. And it would have worked just fine if you hadn't backed yourself up into a corner. Somebody turns up with a broken bit of glass too quickly for you to move fully out of the way, and leaves you with a nice cut along your shin. It's barely a nick, but there is still blood welling up and threatening to drip down your leg.

 

"Are you kidding me...," It starts to bleed, as shallow as the cut is. The warning color is a reminder that you don't have a place. It's not even dark enough to pass for maroon, just bright, bright _red_ , and...and...Grragh, this has been the worst night of your life!!

They're all closing in on you to attack and you're going to die. Your body will be found in the morning, wearing this damn _costume_. _OR_ worse, _nobody_ will find you, and then your lusus will go fucking feral and then the Naturae Control will have to catch him and put him down. You didn't ask for this shit! Why are you being put through this!? 

You know what? If these are going to be your final moments, then for _damn well sure_ you are going to have some final words.

"Hey, it's just a scratch--"

"' _Just_ _a scratch_?'" You glare murder down at him,"You wanna know what's ' _just a scratch_ '? _'Just a fucking scratch_ ' is _YOU_ getting a really good swipe at me with your claws, that's ' _just a fucking scratch'_. _This_ , what is happening right now, IS NOT ' _JUST A FUCKING SCRATCH_ '! _THIS_ IS A WHOLE FUCK LOAD OF SCRATCHES THAT ARE ACTUALLY ONE BIG, HUGE _BLISTERING_ _PUSTULE_ INFECTED MASSIVE SHIT-SCAR THAT WE ARE IN THE MIDDLE OF RIGHT NOW. I DIDN'T _ASK_ FOR ANY OF THIS. I DIDN'T _WANT_ ANY OF THIS HAPPENING. _YOU_ BROUGHT ME HERE TO FIGHT _THAT_ \-- THE FUCK ARE YOU ANYWAY!?" You throw your hands in the direction of _it_ ,"YOU'RE A HALF-DEAD CORPSE WITH BITS OF FLESH FALLING OFF, I COULD LITERALLY _BREAK_ YOU WITH A STICK, THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME FROM DOING SO IS THAT YOU LOOK _ABSOLUTELY SICKENING_ TO THE POINT WHERE I WILL _VOMIT_ OUT MY INSIDES IF I SO MUCH AS _TOUCH_ YOU!"

 

The appalled shock on the monster's face would be so funny if you weren't so set on giving this much needed allocution. 

 

"AND THE _FUCK_ ARE ALL OF YOU _DUMBASSES_ DOING!!? _WAKE THE FUCK UP!!!!!_ "

Your voice seems to reverberate off the walls, getting louder and louder with each rage-filled syllable. You're beginning to pant by the time you finish, your air sacs most likely-- finally --tired out. Everybody is busy groaning,  trying to cover their ears, most of the bodies start falling back to the ground, once again limp and unconscious. The monster growls and raises an over-stretched limb high, screeching,"Stop making that terrible sound, and hurry up and **_DIE!!!_** "

And then that rotting appendage comes straight for you, warped and shifting as it flies. In your mind, you can see exactly how it will strike right through you. Spike your bloodpusher like a pincushion, and leave you impaled on this hideous thing's pike of a limb. And after your  fit, the only thing left is _fear (like when everything was consumed by the deepest pitch_ , _until you could not see your own hand),_ not even enough sense to even move out of the way or continue standing. You cringe with eyes shut, brace with your back against the wall.

 

_(You wish you were home, that you hadn't even given John a chance to get you caught up in this. So why did you?)_

 

This...huh, so this is how you go down...

 

You shut your eyes.

.

.

.

But the piercing pain you're expecting never comes, instead, when you take a careful peek, the clawed hand that was right in front of your face is now pinned to the ground, pierced through with a thin, needle-like blade.

"Right on time." A new voice echoes off the walls.  _(Don't you know them? Haven't you heard this voice before?)_

 

"Who's there!? How _dare_ you interrupt me!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY GUYS!! IF ANYONE HAS A FANTROLL THAT THEY'D LIKE TO SHARE FOR PLOT PURPOSES OR A MONSTER SUGGESTION OR A VILLAIN SUGGESTION, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT OR VISIT THE SAILORSTUCK TUMBLR!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!


	5. A Challenger Appears! Tuxedo Shades Joins The Match!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The identity of Douche-Mcshades is revealed!....Kinda...  
> ...Actually not really?
> 
> In any case, Karkat makes friends with a masked stranger who he's not entirely sure if he's flirting with him or insulting him. (I mean, he could be flirting, right? It just sounds.....like reeeeally bad flirting...)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (psst, its fun to imagine subtitles and pretend this is a real anime)
> 
> (but...homestuck is an anime???)

"How _dare_ you interrupt me!"

 

You, John, and the corpse are all looking for the source when the long figure steps into the moonlight from one of the high windows, a shadow casting over the whole room. He's suited up in a classy black tux, complete with a top hat and cape  _( ~~hot damn~~ )_, and a tinted, pointed visor set over his eyes while he dangles an open pocket-watch from his fingers as he speaks, musing,"A dark, _vile_ creature such as you," the timepiece snaps shut, the sound booming in the all-too quiet room,"Shouldn't even be here."

 

This masked stranger leaps down from the window, the cape fans out behind him, spreading like wings. Makes a smooth, graceful landing onto the floor tile. The corpse tries it's best to get unstuck from the tiny pin, black oozing out of the wound with every move. The newcomer saunters towards you, slowly, as if he has all the time in the world. He extends a hand to you, looking every bit like all the human fairy tale prince's you can think of. Even with half his face covered, he's-- ridiculously --pretty. From the bright, platinum hair beneath his hat to the long length of his figure. He makes you think of those flawless celebrity photos you always see on the back of Nepeta's magazine. You're so completely enthralled within this moment, in fact, you think you might be coming to understand what love at first sight really is--

Right up until he opens his mouth.

 

"I'd say now's not the time for a ragegasm, but _wow_ do you have a set of lungs. You take choir or something? 'Cause I think we'd make a lovely duet together. Tuxedo Shades, at your service, gorgeous." He almost purrs, and you swear if you could see the rest of his face, he'd be winking. Talk about cheesy.  _(The blatant_ flirting _, if it could even be called that, in that sentence is overpoweringly bad, he must have felt really good and bold about that one.)_

Oh, would you look at that, your head is hurting,"A-are you seriously trying to _flirt_ right now? Because this is _sooo_ the perfect time! Consider me completely _wooed_. Congratulations. And who let you use a stupid name like that?" You take the offered hand anyway and haul yourself up, completely off-put. God, of all the people you've met today, this one takes the cake. _(And acts like he smugly, gladly,_ perversely _made out with it too.)_

 

"Whoa, you're quite the pessimist, aren't you?"

" _Gee_ , how could you tell? In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly having the best _fucking_ time here. So if you could _kindly_ \--"

 

He lunges swiftly in your direction, you flinch. But his hand swings out and away from you, sending another, larger needle _(there's a knob on the end, a cane?)_  darting out from within his cape, skewering the corpse monster through the chest this time. Embedded all the way to the floor. It makes an ugly, blood-curdling shriek as it gripes at the protruding rod.

"No time for that! Hurry and strike while it's down!"

" _With what!!?_ "

 

John decides to reappear, body low to the ground," _Sailor Cancer_ , get your tiara and yell ' _Carcino Tiara Action_ ', quickly!"

"Fuck no, I'm not doing that! I want to go home!"

"Hurry up and just throw the dang tiara!

"WHY SHOULD I!!?"

"Just fucking do it!! _Then_ you can go home, you big baby!"

"FINE, YOU DEMANDING ASSWIT! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M DOING. THIS IS _STUPID!!!_ "

 

But you're going to try it anyway, aren't you?

" ** _Carcino_**...," There's a strange welling up of some new force inside of you, just like when you transformed. It fills you up, makes it feel like there's too much of whatever is about to brim up and spill over, like you're going to burst, _again_. You don't even know what words are falling from your mouth," _ **Tiara** **Action!**_ "

 

And then your circlet is spinning off from your hand, shining bright enough to hurt your eyes, swerving awkwardly. John is whining at you, both paws on his face, moaning,"Ohmigod, you didn't tell me your aim was weak-sauce." The Tuxedo guy has a stupidly crooked smile underneath his hand, daring to laugh.

"Do you think I've _ever_ done this before!? How am I supposed to fucking know _what to do!!?_ " With that, the tiara curves rigid straight and fast, leaving behind a trail of glowing red, to the corpse.

 

"N-no-!! _EeuuuaaaAA **AGGHHH!!!**_ "

As if possible, it glows even brighter as it cuts through the monster. It screams grow louder and louder until it just stops, it's whole body blackening, disintegrating into ash, the particles scattering to nowhere and disappearing altogether. There's a little _plink_ as something small hits the floor. John darts forward to retrieve whatever it is. The dust dissolves into the air, the wind picking up randomly high and blowing it away.

A release of something is felt, and the dread-strung atmosphere of the shop dies away, returning to normal. You yourself let out a breath you didn't know you were holding,"Whoa..."

 

"Good job, Sailor Cancer~!"

"...Er, thanks...?"

Tuxedo Shades _(that is honestly the stupidest name for anybody, why would anyone call themselves that? He must be_ really _confident)_ takes your wrist and brings your hand up to his mouth and places a kiss on your knuckles. Again, this would have been _totally_ romantic if you had never heard him speak.

"I will remember this time that we've spent together--"

"I literally just met you like, not even five minutes ago."

"--Until the next night our stars align, farewell!!"

 

He leaves the same way he came; out the window. _(That was....corny. Seriously, where have you met him before?)_

 

However much you tell your pusher to calm the fuck down, it decides that right now is the time to force itself through your abdominal cavity. Neither have you ever felt more ticked off than right now. This whole day might as well have just went right out the fucking window, too. You just want to go home, take the biggest sleeping pill you can find, and pass the fuck out. That is _all_ you want at this point. Fuck school.

 

"That wasn't too bad for your first time Karkat!" John chirps from the floor.

"Nope, that's it. I've had enough. _I_ , am going home. Never again. I'm never doing this again, find someone else, just go back to whatever fucking hell dimension you came from and leave me alone," you turn on your heel and make for the door, past the sea of comatose bodies. Your hands start pulling at your clothes, trying to remove yourself from the costume,"Here, take this-- stupid, damn-- _hey_!! What the hell, it's _stuck_!?" 

 

John, the asshole, laughs. Nervously, too, like he doesn't know what to do next _(you swear, you will fucking drown him if he doesn't change you back)_ ,"Eheh, well, y'see...so you can't actually take it off like that. Just, um--"

 

At that moment, Equius comes bursting in, doors banging behind him, looking every bit as disheveled and panicked and afraid. You're surprised that it even took this long for him to get here, though it does look like he's been running. John ushers you as quickly as he can around a wall _("Quick, quick! Hide!")_ , keeping you out of sight. Equius searches frantically until he finally see's Nepeta's slumped form, and dashes straight to her side. Shit, you didn't even check to see if she was still breathing! Some friend you are.

 

"Nepeta!" His hands are quick to halt as he's about to pick her up _(one of the things you will always admire about Equius no matter what is how careful he is, is the sheer amount of control he forces into all of his being.)_ , becoming slower, more gentle as his giant hands cradle her body, fretting over her state. Checks for a pulse or beat as carefully as he can. His voice trembles.

"Hey, Nepeta. N-now is not the time for a-a... _catnap_...wake up...y-you know that I can't...I-I _can't_..."

Equius always speaks with a soft, clear and level volume, but his sad, desperate whispers are almost deafening amongst the silence.

 

You both sigh with the utmost relief when there's a small cough and wheeze for air, Nepeta stirs

"...nngh...Equius..? 'S you?"

"Nepeta!!"

 

From where you are, you see her sit up, hissing softly as she grimaces from pain. Equius is frantically searching for wounds.

"Are you alright? Are you hurt anywhere?"

"Mm...my wrist... _and_ my neck....wasn't anybody else here...?"

"What? What do you mean?"

She's quiet before her arms stretch up,"...Can you take me home? I'll tell you later. I don't want to be in this place anymore."

"Yes, right," Equius obliges, easily lifts her up and heads for the door. Clears his throat to say,"But just know that you will receive a full scolding. After treatment, of course."

"Aww, no..."

 

As soon as they're out of sight, John turns to you and says,"Aren't you glad you accepted?"

" _Hell_ no. I didn't accept this, you _forced_ this 'job' on me. This isn't even a job, this is some child's hero fantasy that is actually happening. And how do I turn back, anyhow?"

"D'ya wanna go home first? Y'know, so you're not stranded out in the public in your _jammies_?"

 

He does have a point there. The mixed community means that some part of your town is nocturnal, and anybody who happens to be up now will definitely see you. 

"Okay, so I'm going home then," you swivel straight for the door, but John pushes against your legs.

"Why walk when you can fly?"

"BECAUSE YOU WILL _DROP_ ME, YOU ASS!!!"

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

You make your escape to the roof a bit too eagerly. For some reason your heart feels like it trying to **_ba-ba-ba-ba-bump-beat_** it's way out _(you pretty sure you can think of some sweet words to put to that)_ , however you'd appreciate it so very much if it stayed right where the fuck it is.

You might be used to huge crowds, but damn that was tough with just one person-- one cute person, wait what --and a shambling corpse. Does the monster count? Probably not.

The night is still young, no need to hurry home like a teen out after curfew, as technically correct as that is. What's the worse that could happen?

"What indeed, coolkid."

As you turn, willing your face to remain as calm as possible and not shit-scared because you're totally not scared. Who's scared? Not you, you are the epitome of cool, calm, and collected. You are the stoic trope, it is you. 

"Ayy, Vig. You usin' mind reading powers on me? Oh, the betrayal of mine headspace, * _faint_ *"

"More like, you were speaking out loud to yourself and I didn't want you to feel bad when you turned around. And who is the mentioned 'cute person'? I would very much like to know about this cute person, they sound like they gave you quite a time."

You do your best forlorn sigh and the damn greatest imitation of your sister ever,"Alas, I was not privy to that information. Maybe when our fates next intertwine?"

 

She snorts, swings her cane over her shoulders,"Sure thing, Mr. Strawberry Licorice, don't hurt your head there, using _such_ _big_ words," and she's out, jumping backwards and landing soundlessly on the fire escape of someone's apartment. The Vigilant's form fades into colors, and you decide it's time to make your own way home.

You jump too.

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

"Hmm~.... well this is quite the development. There's more pieces on the field now. What do you think?"

".....Too early to really tell. Yes there are more pieces, but what do they do? What do they bring? Also, I don't like how you've immediately thought it to similar to a game."

"Feh, you say that as if you don't think of it like that usually. Don't you deny it either, I know you."

"Pfff, if that's true then I'd be a queen and you'd be my pawn."

"Hey! Not even a knight!?" They feign hurt and go back to snickering,"'Sides, you're more of a Knight yourself, y'know."

"Mm, I suppose that makes you my Bard? Sing praises and tales of my supposed renowned fame and all that shit?" A smile tugs at the corner of your lips, thoughts boil in your head. Certainly, there are more pieces, but what to do with them? There's honestly a bit more than you were expecting, but as long as nothing has been put out of motion there's no need to interfere...even though you'd like to play this game too.

They sidle just a bit closer than you're used to, the almost warmth from their body makes you shiver,"I'd sing you praise all day, but I'm more interested in making you sing."

"That was the dumbest one-liner I've ever heard, and I can't think of anything else that would have topped it," You stand and follow example, making to leave,"C'mon, let's get gone. We don't need to be revealed yet."

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

Before you know it, you're actually quite safe and sound just beside your window, John hovering at the sill. He leans in with paws touching down,"Alright, ready? Ready to learn this awesome ancient technique?"

"Listen, shitty-cat--"

"Rude!!"

" _Cut_ to the chase."

"Okay, okay! Jeez, alright.... _sooo_ ," he nods at the pendant," _That_ , you cannot just wrench it off all willy-nilly. It's so simple too, all you gotta do is _want_ to change back--"

"DON'T FUCKING JOKE RIGHT NOW."

"--Or just, y'know, run out of energy, but that takes too long sometimes, so what'll it be~?"

You groan, plopping down onto your platform. If you think about it, you do feel like you could stay up _all_ freaking night like you've been on a caffeine binge. Then again, tomorrow looms overhead like some great, foreboding task because school is a thing that you need to do.

"Fine. So what do I need to do, some ' _focus my energy_ ' shit like that or...?" You shouldn't sound so skeptical considering your current situation, but you can't help it. If you wake up tomorrow, and it turns out that all this is really _real_...you're not sure what you're going to do.

John snorts,"When you put it that way, then yeah, that's exactly what you're gonna do. Focus your energies, oh _great_ warrior," he waves his paws and makes those stupid _'woOoOoh~_ ' noises. Foolishness at it's finest, ladies and gentlemen. Now featuring magical kittens.

 

Still, won't hurt to give it a try.

You've seen enough action flicks with this trope to mimic what you imagine you're supposed to do. You sit up a little straighter and roll out your shoulders. Set your feet on the ground and shut your eyes, hands balled into fists at your sides. It feels a little dumb to be telling yourself to ' _clear your mind_ ', but there isn't anything else you can think of to keep your pan on task. Just keep repeating, repeating, repeating, repeating.....

 

......You feel like you've fallen over, thankfully landed on something soft. So tired....

_("Ehheehee, see you later, Karkat~!")_

.....You don't dream of anything. At least this time.

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

Nepeta is extremely talkative the next morning, absolutely gushing,"I had the most wonderful dream~!! A beautiful Warrior of Justice appeared and saved me from a monster~!" It almost makes the pounding headache worse, but at least she's okay.

"Ooh, me too!"

"You had the same dream, _too_!?

"Wow, thoundth like you guyth had thome kind of night," you hear Sollux say over his monitor.

"Noo, it really happened!!"

"Hey, not thaying it didn't, it'th all over the fucking newth. **'Epidemic Break-out? Nearly 50 People Found Unconscious In Specialty Store. Proprietor Currently Nowhere To Be Found'**. _Something_ happened."

 

Something _happened,_ alright. _You_ happened and fixed all that shit that went down. _That's_ what _happened_. _(Gooooodd, you're so tired.)_

 

"Karkitty! Are you listening??"

Very begrudgingly and reluctantly, you lift your head and glare groggily at her,".....You know what, I had the shittiest sleep last night. Absolutely terrible. Please, can you just shut up for a bit?"

You thunk your head back down on your desk, regretting it instantly as you cringe with the new rise of pain in your head.

The weight of the locket hangs around your neck, just beneath your uniform, and you feel the sensation of piercing blue eyes watching you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaand end of ep 1
> 
> Also HAPPY NEW YEARS!!!  
> MORE ART TO COME


	6. You Mean I Have To Do It Again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat is still working part time for a talking cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand we're back! ^o^  
> also karkat cant deal with all this shit rn
> 
> and a really big thanks to lostozian for helping me with titles!!
> 
> Please go read the [BSK](http://archiveofourown.org/series/334450) series

_It's very disorienting to be awake when the sun is up, and to feel it not burn your face off. Even more disorienting is how half of the sky is dotted with clouds across cheerful blue-- much like the people of Prospit --and then the other half is dark, dusky plum, showing off the brilliant light of thousands of visible stars. It's strange, but beautiful. You honestly never thought you'd get to see the sky of another planet. If it had not been for Feferi, for your friends, anyone at all really, none of you would have been here to see the marvels of the galaxy. At the very least, to marvel at Skaia._

_You have to pull away from the window, or else you'd sit there all day  at the sill, struck with how breathtaking it is and just stare. If Gamzee can focus, so can you, and you're not about to be outdone by your personal-- favorite --slime trip on legs._

_Now that you think about it, you haven't had a lot of time to pile with him, you feel that one is quite overdue. Maybe the two of you can hide yourselves away for awhile, you can't possibly be needed that much to keep things in order._

_Sneaking out of the room given to you in the border palace is no easy feat. Undetected, anyway. The corridors have the few working people bustling about, going about their usual routine, much more diligently and happily than you've seen any servant be wont to do. While it does strike you as a little strange, you suppose that these people have yet to know the harsh rule of a bloodthirsty dictator-empress, and you hope they never have to._

_They give you respectful, brief bows, and then return to their own busy schedule, paying no further mind to you. You're free to explore._

 

_After a few turns and some mild confusion, you happen upon the library. It's a great, round room that spirals up several floors, leading up to an observatory on the highest level. Light orbs litter the room, providing illumination in the otherwise dim room. You'd pass it by, but now your interest has raised after spying Nepeta and Equius resting at a table a little further in, Equius attempting to read one of the many books stacked next to him, and Nepeta not really paying attention to anything in particular, save the lock of her moirail's hair that she's braiding._

_You walk towards their table, thankful for the carpeted floor to cover your footsteps, even though you're sure Nepeta's already heard you. Her ears shudder, and then she's stretching, curling all her muscles back and then releasing, like a seasoned predator. She finally addresses you,"Having a tour, Karkitten?" She eyes you with mild interest and then loses it altogether, her attention more focused on plaiting Equius's locks, her own a wild, intimidating mess. (_ The amount of times Equius has probably taken a grooming tool to it and succeeded are probably outweighed by how many times he's given up on detangling the mass completely. You wonder how Aradia and Feferi do it? Then again, your own hair is quite long by now, maybe you are due for a cut as well?)

_"Didn't really plan for it, but I guess that's what it is now. Can you even read that?" You wave a hand towards Equius, indicating the foreign book in his hand._

_Equius clears his throat,"Eventually, though I suppose that inquiring one of their scholars to scribe out a brief reference has lessened the headache I would have had to endure otherwise. But, I presume that yes, I can read this, albeit very carefully and slowly, lest I misunderstand the passage._ _"_

_"Fascinating. I'll leave you to it, then." You think he deliberately throws in some extra words to sound even more like a fancy fuckwit_ (to fuck with you, specifically) _, not even Eridan would be able to withstand it. You turn on your heel into a random section of the library, Nepeta lazily purrs,"Bye~" and refocuses on her task._

_With what little you know of the Skaian written language, you can sort of navigate yourself towards their romance section, which while it is abundant with a lot of flush and some squinty pale reads, is severely lacking in much of anything else. If you keep going you can see that the subject evolves into the more...raunchy types, and you may or may not remember where this particular aisle is for future reference. You head upwards some, curious at the observatory. On the way, you happen to see Sollux lounging in an alcove, a thin book spread over his face and some slight buzzing snores as an obvious tell that he's asleep._

_The thought to flip the book off his face does cross your mind, but then so does the repercussion of him waking up and not being completely all there and so possibly maybe end up throwing you down the stairs....yeah, no._

_So you just scowl and continue towards the next flight, at the very least this venture will keep you in shape with all these goddamn stairs._

 

_Finally reaching the top point, the observatory is a wonder in and of itself; the total concept of gravity is lost to the vastness of the ceiling, the Skaian record of the stars and planets floating in full plain view. You have to hold yourself down by one of the shelves, hopeful that it's been bolted to stability, and let your oculars take it all in. It is mindblowingly beautiful. You wonder if somewhere among those stars if home is visible._

 

_"It is as much a map as it is a study guide."_

 

_You startle at the voice of another, one of the Dersian royals, that same fairy platinum hair and solemn lavender eyes keep you transfixed to the bookcase_ (you'd heard of a strange birthing phenomenon with these sentient mammalians, something completely unheard of back home, a _double-hatching_. How do two grubs share the same egg without wanting to eat the other to prove dominance? You can hardly wrap your pan around the mere concept. If it wasn't for some obvious differences though, you'd have actually thought she was the lord prince) _. She looks amused at your unaware reaction, and continues,"Long ago, we descended from another place entirely. Before then, we had the blood of gods in our veins," Her arm comes palms up and a tendril of-- magic, because there isn't any other word for it --curls and crackles about her fingers, then she giggles,"Of course, it doesn't run as strongly now."_

_She floats upward along the flow of...whatever it is that does that, in the room, rises up into the miniature model of space. The Dersian princess runs a hand over the star models, causing them to glitter as she turns back to you,"Do your people study astra lore? Or is it considered a lost subject only fool scholars dream after?"_

_Somehow you find the sense to answer, clearing your throat,"Not so much lore as simple astrology; our precedent empress thought our home world completely hers, and sought to conquer other worlds. Our astrologists were more or less mapmakers for imperial forces, but no more. I believe if they wanted, they could dig up old, forgotten stories. Since the Church is no longer under the old imperial control, they might even be willing to share what knowledge they have." Now you really want to talk to Gamzee._

_She hums, her fingers skim along an orb and it spins out to expand, bursting in numerous, various strands of constellations,"Ah, I suppose that would have been the case. Deducing from what I know, if it wasn't practical in the greater conquest, it was discarded completely. An entire...caste, was it? Entirely desiccated from being? A terrible thing, to lose a part of history and civilization. Even worse is to be the cause of it," her expression darkens, and she mumbles something you can't make out._

_This subject's getting a bit touchy._

 

_"...I'm flattered you remembered something of our people's history, however dark. When were you able to hear of that particular excerpt, my lady?"_

_She brightens immediately,"Ah, I was able to catch it from Lady Palatium. We were having a most enjoyable chat over a lovely brew of tea, and it happened to be the turn of topic. Speaking of," she descends and approaches, holding out her metal-wrapped hand,"if you would remove your gage, please?"_

 

_Wary, you undo the buckle and slide off the glovepiece, placing your greyscale hand in her cold, peachy grip. She turns it palmside and drags the pointed tips of her talon rings over old healing calluses and newly sensitive skin. It tingles, and not because of the metal claws, or your hatchling sensitivity; It's like the time Sollux and Gamzee wanted to test a joke toy on you--_ you fell for it right on the dot like a sap _\--and the moment you touched the false foil-wrapped sweet, those fuckers shot you straight up with a little psionic shock, you remember being jump-twitchy the whole fucking night._

_This is not like that time. This was something more amplified, as if currents of energy had been hot-wired directly to your nervous system. You have no doubt that Sollux could fry you to a crisp if he wanted, and hell, Aradia's own abilities wasn't anything one should mess with. But this...this_ feeling _, it's like this isn't all of it, and if you were ever hit with all of it, you'd be gone before you even experienced the full extent of what all of_ it _was._

_(If you think too hard, it's more like that time you went to rescue Gamzee, but then...everything...it was dark, a-and you felt so_ lost _and so, so much_ fear _...and then the taunting...)_

 

_"Oh, forgive me, I wasn't thinking for a moment," and a good majority of it--_ that energy _\--ebbs away, only just lingering in a peripheral sense,"Now..._ oh _..."_

_"What-- My lady, is there something wrong?"_

_Her face turns up, and you're locked in place by an analyzing lavender gaze,"Please, don't worry. It's just that it seems to be time for you to wake up," her grip however hardens, the claw tips digging into your skin._

 

_"W-what, what do you mean? --!!"_

 

_Her eyes turn bright and piercing, patterns dancing over the iris. It feels like everything is starting to disappear from around you._

_" **Awaken, Knight of Blood**."_

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

"So, you failed. It's not like you were given a particularly difficult task, so all I want to know is _why?_ "

 

You watch as he drops into a full-on deferential bow, implicating forgiveness. From your unseen perch high above, you barely hear the Dignitary's words, aside from his smooth, calm tone. Not as projected as the Black Queen, but cool and collected speaks where volume cannot reach. _Tch_ , speak up dammit...

They plop right next to you, surprisingly making little noise,"What'd I miss? Anything good?"

"Mmnope, can't even hear them. He is in some trouble though."

"For what?"

"...Were you not with me that night, or--...nevermind."

 

You refocus on the Dark World court, keeping an eye on your enemies is a lot easier than you thought. It's allies you need to watch out for, they're so much harder to find. To put it in understandable terms, there's a whole lot of sidequest shit to do before you'll be able to really find anyone, not including the characters you have in play, or in queue to play...to put it understandably.

 

"...to allow me to redeem myself..."

 

"Ooh, here we go~ What is it this time?"

The two of you listen in more intently, not daring to miss whatever information you can scavenge.

As long as you both stay in the shadows, they'll keep talking for you. You have an advantage.

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

"Look buddy, it's been a week, would you quit following me around!? I don't want your stalker surveillance, and I can't keep Nepeta from catching you forever. There is literally _tons_ of things for you to better waste your time on than trailing me at school, I promise you."

 

In case it wasn't obvious, you are Karkat Vantas, seven-point-six or probably sixteen to be simple, high school student and part-time Sailor Soldier, you guess...at least according to John, the magic cat who talks to you... _(that's totally a perfect introduction, no insanity here, no sir.)_

You glare with a practiced grimace at the source of your irritation. John just shrugs and pit-pats behind you, not really paying any attention to you. Typical shitty cat.

It's been several days since your _'incident'_ -slash- _'dream'_ , but there hasn't been any kind of _'suspicious'_ activity. And it's not really helping that John won't talk to anybody else, further proving your _'I've gone shithive'_ theory.

 

"You never know~ Sometimes they just pop up when you least expect it, and then _BAM!_ Dying people, dying people _everywhere_. If they aren't dying, they're dead, and that's _eeeven_ worse!" John scales up to walk on the wall beside you, pacing just a little bit further ahead," 'Sides, would you even do the job I gave you if I wasn't there? You'd probably bail at the first sign of trouble," he says with his nose up in the air, like he's some higher life form than you on the echeladder of life.

_(Like, okay,_ maybe _, you mean, he_ is _a_ talking _cat after all, he may be some bigshot deity in disguise, you don't know.)_. 

 

You snort, even though that one part of your brain says _'yeah, I'd totally make a run for it'_ , but you try _really_ hard to ignore that part. 

"Yeah, right. You made this big fuss over something that ended up being a one time thing. What if there isn't anymore supposed _'horrible, bad things'_ coming out to hurt people? What if that thing you set me up against was just it, what now?"

" _Pff_ , don't count on it. Highest probability of these goddamn shenanigans happening is now higher than it was a month ago, by myself at least," he leaps off his ledge, landing in front of you,"It may seem peaceful _now_ , of course. Even so, more reason not to let your guard down."

" _Ha_ , yeah, sure. Because whatever _big_ _bad_ guy that's out there is just _waiting_ for me to be at my most vulnerable, right?" You make sure to be dramatic, you even do the highest quality of feinted faints.

John spits and growls,"Exactly....y'know, I wasn't expecting you to continue being this dim. You're taking _all_ the fun out of this."

" _OH_ well _excuse_ me for not wanting this thing, whatever it is you're having me do, where it just so happens you want me to risk my neck to get rid of-of _things_ that have it on high priority to kill me first, ask questions later. _Sorry_ for the lack of hilarity on my end," you snark at him. 

 

There's a bit of hustle and bustle as a small crowd gathers at a street stall, a fortune specialist. What you know of fortune-telling is that they use things like crystal balls and cards and whatever and can look at your palm and tell you things you probably already know about yourself, or tell you vague-y future-y things in general that could happen to anybody. Nowadays there's things like electronic horoscopes, online almanacs and other things to beat the outdated ways _(even if the entire practice itself is a load of crockshit)_

_(....Maybe it could be worth a try? Couldn't hurt to see if there might actually be something they could tell you...)_

 

" _Ooh~_ lookit that. Not everyday you see someone with at least a little bit of natural talent for magic...," John peers at the commotion, or probably just at the person in charge, does it for sometime and then jumps for your head, giving you a little bit of panic.

"F _FFF-_ hey, watch it!!"

"Heyy~ Karkat~ don't get distracted by these kind of things, okay~? Be a good little pupa and stay in school, become a responsible mature adult and all that goodness, right?"

" _Oh my go_ \-- stop being a fucking creep, get _off_ me!!!"

He loses interest as you round the front entry of your school, and uses you as a springboard to reach higher ground. You duck into the gateway and John stays behind on the school wall. 

★♋★

"Karkaaaat~!!--"

"I do not have the damn cat with me, do not inquire of it any further, for it shall do you no good," you state flatly as her excited posture droops, her request denied before she even had a chance,"Nepeta, _please_. It's not even allowed on school grounds, and I don't plan on sneaking it in here. It's not even mine."

She pouts, obviously displeased,"That's not what it seems to think...following you around like that...must be nice...they won't let me take the ones at the shelter, because of Pounce...must real be nice, having an itty bitty kitty follow you wherever you go...," and continues grumbling at you like that until Equius comes in with Sollux and Nepeta takes a running leap to reach her moirail's shoulders,"Equiuuussh~!!"

"Whatever it is, I'm sure it can wait until after school hours. Please try and keep a focus on your studies."

"Traitor!!"

Sollux snickers, slouches into the seat next to you with his gangly limbs all over the place,"NP, you gotta _theduce_ him into it. Give him a good ol' pap into thubmi _thshh_ \-- _dammit_ , submission!"

"Oho! I bet you'd _lick_ that, huh? You edging for my pap- _paws_ , Sollux~?

"Nah, licking ith TZ's thing."

"Captor, that is highly inappropriate for the current setting! And Nepeta! That's _lewd_!" Equius has her softly by the shoulder's, trying to whisper,"Y-you're not really...considering him, are you?" "Nyope~! You're stuck with me, silly!"

"Alright, thorry, sorry. Don't start an exhibitionary jam on my account, just blame it on my new repressant meds."

_(Apparently, Sollux is supposed to be psionic, or have psychic capabilities that can manifest physically, supposedly a reason of why his eyes are the way they are, and_ not _what he told you when you both were in elementary, you being a gullible little pupa and him being a deceptive_ piece of shit _with his 'favorite color' bull.)_

 

"Okay kiddos, SHADDUP AND SIT _DOWN_ , I'm here."

Mr. Slick rushes in and bangs his briefcase open and pulls out a daunting stack of paper,"And what I've got for ya's is this months study guide, pay attention and read up, this will literally have all your test answers. Lookit me, I'm being a goddamn saint here for ya. Just fill it in and use the damn thing, this will be the easiest test you've ever had, easier than Ms. Paint's, even. Ain't none of you's is failing my class, you hearin' me!!?"

 

Sollux waves his in front of your face, already marked up,"Y'know, he wath right, it was easy."

"Okay, first of all, fuck you. Fuck you right up the chute with a rusty crowbar--"

"Kinky."

" _Shut up_! And second, how do I get you to let me borrow that?"

"Hmmm...how about, no, maybe? And we thee what happens, yeah?"

"Sollux you are a traitor to me and this friendship, I officially hate everything that you are and everything you stand for. You're a jerk."

"I know, aren't I just tho amazing?" He leans in and jiggles the guide in front of your face,"Maybe, I might be so inclined to lend you my copy if you were to possibly give me the lunch you packed for Gamzee, on account of the information I have that he will not be showing up today."

 

_This asshat_. Regardless of that fact being true, if he doesn't come today, there really will be no point in what you made. _If_ he doesn't show up, that is. Still, it's frustrating,"...If he's not here by lunch break, then fine."

"Deal. I just need to take it home for today to load it through my home thystem. That cool with you, or nah?"

"Yeah, fine. Do what you need to. I thought you already had the year plan downloaded...?"

"Oh, yeah, thith ith just to fill in any mithhing spots that I didn't catch, is all."

 

Huh. So even Sollux isn't totally sure of himself sometimes. That's a bit of a relief to know. You turn back to the board to watch Mr. Slick scratch the day's lesson with a chalk piece into some form of sense. Maybe you should just fill the guide out yourself? You'd have no obligation to Sollux, but if you had all the information you needed now, it'd make for easier studying, better preparation; you could bring your grade up drastically.

You don't know what to do.

_(Not to mention there's a talking cat stalking your ass to do stuff for him, but what does that matter to this?)_

 

★♋★

You ring the doorbell, the familiar homey chimes comes to life and reminds you of childhood.

Nanna Crocker's house is always a place of good feelings, good sweets, good memories and good times all around. If there was anybody who needed cheering up, you'd recommend them to the services of the Crocker-Egberts, fun-time extraordinaires and harbingers of joy. Ain't nothing a good ol' dose of Crocker-bert ain't never failed to fix in the history of ever (because they made you forget when it was just you, Dirk and your sister trying to rough it out on your own because Dirk said the system would have separated you and therefore the system sucked the most wrinkled of asscheeks).

 

The door opens up to the most wonderful face you've ever set eyes to.

"Oh, hello Davey! Don't just stand there, dear, we went through this last time, come on in. John just came in not too long ago, though I'm afraid you just missed Jane and Jake, they've gone off with Dirk to retrieve Miss Roxy. Oh! And I just baked a pie, fresh out the oven," Nanna Crocker is too good for you, a literal saint, the dream. Just think, if you and your ringpop proposal hadn't been as gently turned down as possible at the ripened age of seven then sweet baby jehovah, you'd have married this woman in a heartbeat _(note that this was before you learned why such a marriage wouldn't have worked. Goodbye sweet dreams, hello cruel fate, so long true love, never to be founded in this life)_.

_(Nanna is the only one_ EVER _allowed to call you_ 'Davey', _or_ 'David', _for that matter. Rose bends that rule from time to time, but she never calls you '_ Davey'. _Just Nanna, and it will be that way until forever.)_

 

"Hi Nanna. I thought I smelled some of strawberry heaven. Is John upstairs?"

"Yes he is, would you mind getting him to come down here? I'll go ahead and slice up some of that pie."

"Oh, you don't have to go through the trouble, Nanna. We're grown, we can do that ourselves."

"Hoohoohoo~! You're a sweetheart Dave. But I really don't mind none, just bring yourselves to the kitchen for me. All I want is for it to taste good, and that'll make me happy. Now get going, buster!"

 

Ah, yes, the sweetest of authoritative figures if there ever was one. All authoritative figures should aspire to be like Nanna. They'd probably end up with better henchmen. Heck, if Nanna Crocker was a mob boss, you'd volunteer to be one of her henchmen, no questions asked, man. You'd just be there. Payment? The only payment you need is whatever miracle confection that woman and her miracle hands can pull out from her miracle oven. Even the occasional grandmotherly kiss on the cheek is fine. Hell, a bedtime story? Fuck yes you'll take that. 

You shake your head clear of rambling thoughts and climb the stairway, heading towards John's room. The last time you came, he'd been out, working on a 'project' of some kind, so you're glad you were able to catch him this time.

His room is open, one wall is lined with posters of really bad movies and he's halfway through his chest of tricks,"John?"

He bumps his head on the lid before pulling himself to his feet fully, gingerly rubbing at the sore spot he got just now,"--oww, hey Dave!"

 

John stands at just about the same height as you, massaging a mess of black hair and fixing his glasses to sit properly on his face,"Sorry, but what were you up to?"

"Nothing too important, just sorting some things out, getting rid of some old tricks and preparing for new ones."

"New tricks? The old ones not up to par anymore?"

"Nah, just need something new once in a while, y'know? How've ya been? I heard you missed me last time."

"It's been great to be back somewhere familiar, and I mean travelling and touring is great and all, but like you just gotta go home sometimes. OH, so you know those shades you gave me? These?" You flash the pair at him," I freaking _love_ them, okay? Like I'm not bombarded by a goddamn horde every time I walk outside, and it's great? Thank you so frigging much, I don't think I could top this."

"No problem, I'm just glad you like them."

"Still, seriously thank you," Out of the corner of your eye, you see something shift behind John,"Whoa, what was that?"

John turns to see where you're looking at, but maybe you were just seeing shadows move. He perplexedly scratches at his head and shrugs at you.

 

Huh, weird....Oh, right,"Hey, Nanna said come down, she just finished with a pie."

"Oh sweetness! Betcha can't jump from the railing!"

"Bro, _no_. Please, I hold your Nanna in the highest regard, I do not wanna explain to her why one of her grandchildren is dead. The one time I tell you do _not_ do the thing."

 

_(But to be honest, it's more like you don't wanna hear that **tick-tick-tock-tock** noise that seems to be getting more frequent.)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im gonna try to keep a better update schedule, however there are some unavoidable circumstances that i am currently dealing with so please bear with me, and thank you.


	7. You Can See The Future, Right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat gets to see the future as foretold by a street stall witch, and more Dark Realm shenanigans continue to fuck things up. More later at 10 o'clock folks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> update schedule is a work in progress, and so are the problems im tryna avoid, gfdi

_You are awoken by one of your new attendants-- Billard, still kind of new, but a good sport nonetheless, at least for being able to put up with some small friendly jokes you've pulled on him, poor kid should get a day off. It's some time in the morning and the curtains have been pulled back, allowing a widely blinding amount of light into the room. You're a morning person, but not an early morning person. However there are things to do, people to talk to, galactic treaty's to discuss, shenanigans to direct, the usual things._

 

_"My Lord King, we have today's council meeting with the Dersian Royal Family of our sister kingdom and with the Alternian Empress and her company."_

_"Pthbtbthtbth... it's much too early for that, the meeting's not supposed to be until later."_

_"My most irritatingly cumbersome King, it has been a few dials since sunrise, we are nearing noon-point."_

_"Oh," Okay, you let that small insult slide, because to be honest you've probably had it coming and then some, just that the '_ some' _hasn't really hit you yet, and you guess you can scratch out that bit about you being a morning person. You rise with much reluctance, a groan and a shuffle to the washroom.  
_

 

_★♋★_

 

_"That must have been quite some feat, never mind a good accomplishment for the greater good. How are your people doing back on the home planet?"_

_"Well, to be honest they're taking it a lot better than I had initially expected. I am hoping that in my absence, the reformations and improvements I've put into motion will come to bear fruit. Even if they are relatively small changes, they're happening nonetheless. The strong should try to lift up the weak, not push them down further. So as long as things change for the better, myself and my people can be better."_

_You whistle, then grunt, both Jane and Jade elbowing you from opposite sides. Roxy giggles quietly, Jake smoothly covers his mouth, Dave's rising smile is trying to commit suicide, and Rose looks at least ten times more smug than a moment ago. Dirk does nothing, no moving, no twitching, nothing. Oh but you_ know _he's just_ DYING _to laugh, you can see it in his eyes. The Alternian party looks a tad uncomfortable as to what the appropriate response is_ (hint: LAUGH, YOU STIFFS) _, and the new Empress glubs(?) before clearing her throat._

 

_"And thus the need for alliance reparations, yes?" Rose picks up for you, poised as always, much better suited for these kinds of things than any of you, except that maybe Dirk could give her a run for her money if they ever went at it. She looks at you pointedly until you can regain yourself back into the conversation._

_"Yes, that is our aim. I'd like to repair the damage of reputation and impression that my predecessor left on you and your people. I am very thankful that at the time there was only minimal damage caused by her."_

_"Yet," Dirk, quiet, quiet Dirk, speaks and his voice booms off the walls,"Had we and ours not been born of magic to begin with, we would have suffered fathomless casualties--"_

_"Which we most certainly didn't, thank goodness!" You try to diffuse him, because honestly, yeah, at the time no one was hurt or dead. Maybe shocked, but not even a scratch had to be tended._ (What if, though? What conversation would you all be having then?)

_Roxy has taken initiative and confiscated Dirk's hand, doing her best to whisper soothingly_ (Guess he wasn't wanting to laugh, huh, go figure...) _. Dave stoically glances from behind his visor, first at the Alternians, then at Dirk, trying to read further into the situation. Rose does more or less the same thing, except for her mouth curling in the slightest of smirks, coldly eyeing everyone in the room thoroughly._

 _Dirk apologizes for his outburst_ (with much mental vibing from all of you) _, and you all move forward in discussing an agreeable decision. While you don't completely side with him, it is very understandable where he's coming from. The imperial forces made an impressive show of violence on the first meeting, letting you and your people see exactly how destructive Alternians were capable of being._ (How many would have died, if the very natural, integral part of Skaia had failed you all?) _\--_

(You remember all of them, their faces, their names.)

 

...That's quite enough, no use dwelling on things in your head, or memories that no longer _are_. You don't need anymore reminders of why you came here in the first place.

While you do not need useless memories, you can't help but wonder on what you've re-seen...

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

You've cleaned up after yourselves, put the pie in the keeper tray, washed dishes and such, and then head up to play some video games. And just, wow you've missed Dave. A lot.

You ask him how his music tour was, what he did, were there any mishaps that you would have missed. How he's been, if he brought back anything for you, as a joke of course. He recounts to you some backstage stories that you would have just loved to have been apart of, and probably had made worse if you were there. And of freaking course you would have, your Trickster's Gambit is such a terrible thing sometimes. Most of the times... _Ugh_ , okay, _ALL_ of the times.

 

The alarm on your watch _bip-boops_ and you realize how quickly the time went,"Uh-oh."

"'Uh-oh'? Whatcha mean with 'uh-oh'? 'Uh-ohs' usually mean something has gone wrong?"

You give Dave a toothy smile,"Oh, no. My bad, I totally forgot about a thing I needed to do later, which happens to be now. I still have a bunch of stuff that I had planned for you coming back though, so when's your next boring day off?"

"Nah, it's okay man. Gotta do what you gotta do, right? Don't worry your pretty teeth about it, I'll probably be loitering around, just look for me in the garden, you might see me, you might not, who knows dude? Imma just be y'all's elusive garden fairy that you see sometimes, maybe if you're good I'll grant you a wish and shiz," he jokes, standing to help you pack your game console away.

"But really, plan for that boring day, and I will ensure  _un_ - _boringness_ such as the likes you've never seen, _woOoOoOo_ ~" You waggle your fingers and fake a spooky voice wobble that comes naturally to you.

Nanna see's you both out _(not before scolding you for leaving when a friend came to visit. Sometimes you think your Nanna might favor Dave a tad bit more than you feel she should, but hey, not that you'd mind............much....)_ , Dave gets sent home with a whole pie tin to share with Dirk-- lucky --and you start with a light jog towards your intended destination, the wind picking up just the slightest. You can't seem like you forgot about your ward, that would be very un-magical mascot-ish of you, wouldn't it?

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

"See you tomorrow!"

"Later~!"

As always, once the end bell rings, everyone makes for an exit, including you. You dart in between the student-formed clogs through the hallway _(you_ HATE _when people just fucking stop in the middle of the damn hall, fucking talk outside, god...)_ and try to find a path out of the insane mess of chatter. Once you make it outside-- _sweet release!!_ \--you are pulled to the side.

 

" _Aaaa_ nd nice save! By yours truly, you're welcome~. Going home, Karkitty?" Nepeta tugs you out of the way of chaos and towards Sollux, the group being unusually void of her moirail.

"Where's Equius? He leave without you?"

"Big n' blue had some 'most troubling business to attend to', so yeah, he pretty much bailed," Sollux does a pretty good impression of Equius, right from the nasally snoot voice down to the nearly disdainful snootiness of one riding high on a horse.

Nepeta's pouting grimace could be infectious,"Stupid dummy boyfriend-'rail, didn't want me to come with him...," she growls under her breath.

 

The three of you leave the grounds, walking past the entry gate and on the familiar sidewalk. None of you have 'friend who lives next door' status, but as far as location, you're pretty close to each other. You can't say the same for Equius, Mr. Studio-Apartment-Oh-Look-How-Much-Fancier-My-Arrangements-Are-Than-Your's. Sollux lives in a complex a couple blocks away and Nepeta's house is down a street closer to the school. She leaves first, and takes off at a furious run down the hill. Then it's just you and Sollux.

 

"Just to let you know, the pothhibility of me asking you for lunch from now on ith very high, you have been warned."

"Wow, not even a proposal, how scandalous," you deadpan, letting some irritation through.

He mock-pouts,"Gamzee doesn't have to ask..."

"That's different, Gamzee doesn't remember nor understand that food is something critically vital to his continued existence on this plane of being, his pan is literally somewhere else. You are a different case because I expect you to be a sane individual who can grasp the simple concept of common sense and survival. If you think about it really hard, you could say I might favor you over him," you explain ~~_(because it's totally not that you're crushing heavy on Gamzee, how dare you even suggest it. Neither is your teasing of Sollux because you also used to have a crush on him, what a ridiculous shit-heap of nonsense)_~~.

"Oh _such_ smooth, much _swoon_. Mine pump-biscuit hath been swayed, take me now, oh great and a pitiable savior."

"Shut it, quit being a dweeb."

The two of you continue joking around, until Sollux turns up his street, promising to bring you the completed study guide the next day. As bony as he is, you feel a little bit of envy for him, having long legs must be nice, _heck_ , having a _vertically_ aligned body must be nice. _Damn_ , the things you'd do if your legs were just a couple inches longer. ~~_(Don't bother asking, you'll never say a thing!!)_~~

 

You walk until you get to the alley you passed earlier, completely deserted, save for the hooded stall owner. They seem intensely concentrated on shuffling a deck of cards, taking no notice of you when you walk up to the table.

"I thought there'd be more people since this morning, considering school's just been let out." You don't know why you're approaching the stall at all, there's no need to bother with them.

A sigh, and then they look up. Under the hood is a flash of silvery hair, dark painted lips and a critical pair of lilac eyes,"My dilemma precisely. One would think that practically giving away your services, completely free of any monetary gain, that it would have enticed the curious into my stand, but alas I seem to have been stood corrected by that light-flashing nightmare of a headache that's set up shop across the street," She points a talon-ringed finger outward, at her business opponent.

It's a large, orange building, that most definitely was not that bright-- let alone eye-catching --earlier that morning when you first passed down this street. A big, blinking neon sign shows off whatever it is they offer. _(You happen to see the word exorcism flash and wonder if maybe you could get rid of John, and then rethink the idea entirely.)_

 

"Eugh," you scowl,"that's gaudy as hell."

She laughs behind black manicured nails,"Couldn't have thought of a better way to say it. While my mind is on it, did you just come here to inquire of my supposed lack of activity, or were you perhaps curious for a reading yourself?"

You cough and give her what must be a very embarrassed look,"U-um, well, not really, err, yes? I was just wondering, I don't usually believe in these kind of things, so it might not...work?" 

She smiles, and it's that kind of smile someone makes after a long while of being told over and over again that 'I don't usually believe in these kind of things', making you feel very stupid and upset at yourself _(nice going, Karkat, just let every word out of your damn face-gash be an insult to other people and their livelihood why don't you...)._

 

"Would it be alright then, if we were to just do a simple sensory reading?" She smooths the conversation over, offers up her hand palm up and bits of jewelry dangles off her knuckles. Nervously, in a permissive gesture do you place you're hand in hers-- her skin is unusually cold for a human, you note --and she spreads out your fingers and drags the clawtip of her ring over your skin, meticulously inspecting. In a way, you'd say it's like your hand being groped and fondled.

 _(You get a weird feeling that you just can't place, and the nerves in your hand seem to feel electrified. It's like..._ deja vu _except not, though you'd add it up to feeling this huge amount of suspenseful anxiety.)_

 

She smiles again, except it's not very sharp and alert like before, like she's gone hazy,"Let's see if I can manage to _not_ be cryptic and vague, shall we?"

You feel like you're being swallowed in by...by _something_ _huge_ , the longer you look at her. You think you start seeing shapes, too. Has it become dark? You don't know, you're too transfixed on her, your hand, and the flaring sun shapes dancing in your vision.

 

"Tell me your name, please."

It's like a command, and you answer without thinking,"Karkat Vantas."

"Hello Karkat. Let me **See** you, please..."

 

 

You feel...still. Stagnant. Bare, visibly _vulnerable_. Like you've been stripped of all defenses, of armor and all your weakness is exposed for the world _(or at least for her)_ to see.

 

"...Mm, there is a muchness to you, Karkat. I'm going to tell you some things about yourself, things that you might have already known, things you do not yet know, and some things you do not quite understand now, but will come to perceive and better grasp more fully at a later time. What you know now is...," an inhale, then she continues,"The greatest treasure you have ever known and will ever know, are the fated bonds of others which are tied to you. Protect them well."

Another breath,"Things that you have lost will soon be returned. But not without a price," breathe in, out,"There is someone who has their eye on you right now. Though most people who tend to cross paths with you will develop some admiration or fondness for you...Certain questions you have asked might have already been presented with an answer, but they may not be in the form you expected..."

 

There's a weird rush, and suddenly everything is back where it's supposed to be. The alley, the stand, the street behind you, the people on the street, as if nothing...happened.

 

"Ah, thank you so much for your time. I hope what you've learned will be at least somewhat helpful in the future. Oh...," She stops, gives you a really thoughtful look, releasing your hand, which slowly drops to your side,"Fate isn't ever set in stone, Karkat. The choices we ourselves make put us on our own path, a path which may have many different outlets shooting off itself. What I've told you are things that are current, and things that may come to pass should you keep on your current path. Truthfully, I hope the information I've given will be of use to you, vague and cryptic as it is."

 

You kind of nod you're head like an idiot, quietly thank her and turn to leave.

Then she grabs your hand, much too tight to be natural and you yelp a little from shock of pain, her metal talons digging into your flesh, bright blood beading on your skin. Her eyes, wide and glazed over, seem to glow just the slightest. The next words to fall from dark lips are terrifying.

 

_" **You are as an angel; Beware of those who collect feathers. Awaken.** "_

 

 It's downright scary, even scarier is that within the same moment, it's like she didn't move at all and she's still seated behind her table. Her hands are fold neatly on top and yours are safe and untouched at your side, not a trace of blood to be found.

 

"Come see me again. If you feel like you need it," She raises one hand to wave at you, a slow gesture. You finally recollect yourself and make a brisk turn.

 

★♋★

 

Once you feel far enough away from the witch's stall _(witches are real, you are going to believe that for a very long time)_ , you feel like you can finally stop to breathe. It just so happens that you stopped in front of the overly flashy fortune house. A chill crawls up and down your spine, and you shudder, your thoughts going back to her, wondering at the same time if it was a magician's trick or you really did get ~~_genjutsu'd_ ~~ magicked into hallucination _(you are never going through Sollux's DVD collections EVER AGAIN)._

Looking more closely at the building, it's not really...that bad? You mean, yeah it's still disgustingly bright and garish, the color scheme is an absolute eyesore, but maybe it's got it's own charms? You wouldn't have a fucking clue as to what they would be, but it's gotta, right?

Or maybe just forget about it, because you have better things to do, like go home and do...homework...yeah. In any case, you have better things to do, and you don't really believe in this kind of stuff anyway _(lies, says the fresh memory of the witch girl, sitting in your head like a shadow)_. Intentionally ignoring the building, you take up a hasty pace, wanting nothing more than to--

 

"-- _unmph!?_ "

"Ow...oh."

You right yourself, about to apologize until you get a good look at who you bumped into.

"You again!?" "It's you, Nubs."

"Again with 'Nubs'? Can't you think of a better insult?" 

"Well I'd use 'Shouwty', but that doesn't have to same feel to it, y'know? So 'Nubs' won out, congratulations."

"Ha! Well then, looks like I'll stick with douche-canoe then," To be honest, not the best insulting name, but you didn't think you'd run into this shaded asshole anytime soon.

"Nice. Bit of advice, loosen up or you're gonna have the worst romantic luck. Your heart forecast is looking pretty bleak, man, I gotta say it's not good."

 

 _How_....How _dare_ he. You'd sooner see the witch girl about romance than get advice from this loser,"Oh _wow_ , thanks. Nobody asked."

" _Ooh_ , what burn. Later Nubs," He goes around you, not paying attention and stuffing his hands in his pockets, completely ignoring you.

"Hmph, rude jerk-ass," Two can play that game, you turn back to your intended direction and make for home.

 

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

While you are very much sorry in demanding that she not follow you, you hope that you can figure out someway to fix it, no doubt in your mind that Nepeta is seething mad. Left unchecked, or in your case unmended, she'll brood over until even she cannot withhold her own fury, then you'll be finding yourself in a much deeper hole than now. You are only just lucky that Vantas didn't catch sight of you, though you don't hope for it to stay that way, luck's never been something that likes to stick to you for so long

The queue shortens rather quickly, and you realize that most of the people are called up in groups. When it's your turn, you're pointed to an individual room and sat down in front of a supposed seer of fortune. The room is shaded, with some kind of incense smoking up the rather secluded room. It's a bit stifling, with thickened air and some apprehensive sliver in your head and your gut. They have you pick out nine cards, keep them face down, and does whatever false magic it is they use to make all the cards flip over.

 

"Now, look into my eyes, please."

 

You do, but that's about all that you remember.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one of very few things and people keeping me going are you guys, and Prince Sidon, who believes in me, as I have been told.
> 
> Really thankful for all the help i've received, like i really am glad, i'd be stuck af, thank you jocchan, evicchi, ozu
> 
> Still accepting any monster of the day/week ideas so not to go too much with episode by episode  
> also will be glad to cameo fantrolls/ocs to go with mentioned monster of the day/week


	8. Yo, You Okay There Bro??

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's up with Equius? Who is the lovely lady of fortune? Why is Karkat even doing this job, it's not like he's getting paid. 
> 
> Eh, who knows?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> getting a bit better with art and update time
> 
> happy probably late 4/13 of 2017 and also late happy birthday to me 4/17, dont forget youre here forever~

"You skipped school for _this_?"

"Hello, brother dearest. How wonderful to see you on such a fine day." Rose lilts, her natural slow and steady rhythm of wordage falls into the pattern you've come to identify as solely hers _(except for the times when she is- rarely -flustered as hell and barrels her full wit into an erratic, broken speed, but it almost never happens anymore)_. 

You give the slightest eyeroll, sure that she caught it anyway, and lift the corner of the tablecloth covering her little stand,"So, how many _poor_ , _unlucky_ people did you pull your ominous vagueness for, Oh mighty Overseer?"

She deflates, not so much visibly as most people might; with her it's the very slight downward tilt of her head and the faint sullen flat line of her mouth,"Not so much, it seems I have acquired a business rival," She speaks evenly, but beneath calm words you feel the waves of barely restrained wrath. Rose drags her arm upward, pointing at that ugly yellowy-orangey building on the other side of the street.

"Ick, the fuck is that, Dirk's secret Smuppets Gone Wild base, forbidden centrifuge of debauchery and the debased? The great hold of all things never meant to be seen in broad daylight? I swear that be the ugliest orange to burn my retinas."

"David, you're rambling."

"Don't call me ' _David_ '."

 

She hums, a smugness naturally settles on her face, kicks her chair into folding, sliding the carry-case over it, and starts with you on the table.

"Whether that is true or not remains to be proven so. The better question here is, do we care enough to find out?" She asks. It's a loaded, rhetoric question, one that you're not going to bother with an obvious unsaid answer.

 

"I did meet an... _interesting_ person today. He proved to be quite a delectable read. Out of all that I have seen today, I'd say he was the _most_ enjoyable."

"You sound like you're giving your impression of a meal you just had like some kinda Food Network judge. Consider me just the _teensiest_ bit disturbed here," you joke, but wonder a bit about who it was Rose met, if the contented curl on her face is anything to go by. They must have had one _hell_ of a fortune. _(For all the extra vague flowery that Rose is known to speak, for the most part she's not usually wrong.)_

_(It's been twenty-two minutes, forty-eight, forty-nine, fifty seconds since you last saw Nubs. You don't know why this is important.)_

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

John curls around your leg, and you misstep completely, your foot unsure if you're trying to avoid stepping on him or not. In the end, you meet the cement with both hands, the impact jarring your bones.

 

" _Fffffffff_.....fuck, ow...," You kind of just, stay there on the ground for a while, perfectly content to let your shame sting along with your hands.

John snorts,"Well, aren't you a klutz."

"Shut it, you shitty cat..." you groan and pick yourself off, dust off your uniform and resume walking, a bit more careful as John stays on the ground and sticks around your legs. You wouldn't put it past him to trip you on purpose.

" _Pthbthtbt_. Anyway, what did she tell you?"

"She sai--," you catch yourself, nearly clamping teeth on your own tongue,"Wait a sec, _who_ are you talking about?" You probably know who, but you want to make sure it's the right ' _who_ '.

"That fortune-teller kid. For a human, she kinda reeks of some for real magic power, that's a bit rare to feel off of a human," John looks almost thoughtful, then continues,"Anyway, her stall smelled like rosewater and something inky, and I can smell some of that on you, my dude. So, what'd she say to you?"

You're mildly impressed, at least somewhat. You have some things to add to your 'John' theory board.

 

"I had no intention of having her...' _read me_ ', or whatever, but she pretty much told me about myself, but like in a more cryptically-flowery way, I guess. And then there was the _last_ thing she said to me--," you're about to tell him about the weird _not-vision_ , the hallucinated warning that you're not entirely sure if it actually happened, however those words still manage to pierce straight through some deep part of you.

 

**_Beware of those who collect feathers_ **

 

"--Karkat! Hey, _hellooo_?? You alright there, or you in the middle of a monologue-induced flashback? Your face looks a little funny like that, by the way. You should see a mirror."

"Well that's fucking rude."

"Welcome back!"

 

You hiss a little, but pick up pace again. It's suddenly hard to breathe, and your pusher's hammering seems to be getting a bit too fast for your liking. It probably would have been best to not think about the witch girl. Like, for a good long time, and then some. You really need to go home and calm down.

Surprisingly, John says nothing more, neither does he press on the matter. A surprise, but not unwelcome. You don't say anything either, silence is golden after all.

 

_(You dream in goldenrod and lilacs, dark shifting masses and eye-searing suns. Somebody calls, but it's in such a unnerving way, like taunting, laughing at you almost. " **Be wary and take heed, take caution of those who collect feathers...Mhmhmhm~ Well, I guess in your case, it would just be wings, wouldn't it? Wake up, little knight**.")_

 

★♋★

 

" _Thhighh_ , I guess thith means no lunch-swiping for me today."

"Sollux, no swiping!" Nepeta giggles, cheekily smiling at her own joke.

"You did _not_ just fucking sigh out loud."

Gamzee shows up today, attention span somewhere far away in the nethers of the galaxy, leaving his physical form to endure through school. Sometimes if you're watching meticulously, you can swear that he's swaying a little bit, a tilt too far to the side and he'll crash right into the ground. You just want to inch closer sometimes, without being too obvious, just in case.

"I did, and you can't stop me, watch. _Thhhhhhhiiiggghhhh~_."

"Ew, stop. You sound like you're about to spit something up."

Nepeta turns," _Paw_ lux, are ya gonna spit up a furball??"

"Please don't use that as your cat pun name for me."

 

Nepeta sticks her tongue out at him, then perks up to the sight of Equius...who doesn't really look like Equius at all.

His hair is unbound by his favorite hair tie _(his favorite because it was Nepeta's until she fixed it on his hair, the old one breaking, the excuse being his hair was too strong)_ , the strands free to fall wildly- you're not gonna lie, it's a good look on him - and his chipped glasses replaced with a very new pair of shades, now with spikes, sits over his eyes. He's not wearing a tie, his jacket is thrown over his shoulder, his shirt sleeves are missing _(they look like they've been ripped off)_ , as well as his book bag. His pants are ridiculous, tight and torn leather _(the possibility of him flexing his legs until the poor seams on those pants just couldn't take it seems very real right now)_ , and metal studded boots.

 

All in all, things Equius would most definitely not wear, especially to a school setting, so therefore this person cannot seriously be Equius. Of all things, this is what makes Gamzee's focus return to earth, getting a full view and directing a low, long whistle at him.

"Whoa, the heck happened to you?" Sollux fixes his glasses, actually taking them off to clean the lenses, only to cringe-squint.

Nepeta looks unsure of how to react to this new Equius, ultimately ends up looking really confused, but asks him nonetheless,"What's with the get-up? Is there a dress-up thingy today?"

Equius snorts, actually fucking snorts,"Nothing that I owe an explanation to. Just felt like it." Even his voice is different, none of that mild stern calmness, but instead he sounds more brash, definitely more aggressive than usual.

The rest of you are still trying to process who is this and where Mr. Goody-blue-dude who is the star stickler for rules and uniform dress code has gone.

"I think you should change clothes, Equius. You're gonna get in trouble dressed like that--" Nepeta tries, but gets cut off.

"And why do you think that? I don't care about rules and shit," he smarms; overconfidence and swagger is not something he usually displays-- neither is swearing --and in a way it's somewhat fitting _(though, at the same time it's not...something's_ wrong _)_.

 

You all kind of give him the same look, four awkward disbelieving stares. 

 

"Uhm, you feeling okay Equius?"

"Yeah! Don't think I've ever felt this good. I feel like I can do anything!!" He stretches out his arms ~~_(goddamn is that some eye candy)_~~ and turns to head for class. Nepeta tears herself away from watching, at a complete loss for words.

Sollux breaks the weird silence,"Well that was a thing," he pulls out his mobile,"and now we have that forever recorded so that in the future we may reflect on this moment in time and wonder: 'The fuck happened here??'."

"Some kind of reflecting," You glance at Nepeta, somewhat concerned,"Did something happen, because he was fine-- as far as fine relevantly goes for him --yesterday."

"I don't know?? The last time I spoke to him was yesterday, when school let out. I walked with you guys because he said he had something to do and didn't want me to wait for him. But he was fine then, but now he's all weird...," She squeezes her eyes tight and pinches at her ears with both hands, trying and failing to think of anything that might explain the situation.

Gamzee opens his mouth to say something, for once looking very clearheaded and very much present, but whatever it is putters out on his tongue and he instead says,"I'll take on the responsibility-like role then, being as saying we should get our befuddled selves to class time too," As if on cue, the first bell chimes,"Whoa, see?"

"Huh, so you _can_ be sensible sometimes..."

Nothing like an unexpectedly intelligent prompting to get you all moving.

 

"Hey, KK, wait," Sollux stops and swings his bag forward to dig through it, flipping through various papers. He pulls out a few and oh hey, it's the study guide you asked for, you almost forgot about that. "Here."

"Oh, thanks. Should keep me from falling behind."

"Heh. I theem to keep you from failing a lot."

"Ugh, shut up, you get paid, don't you?"

"I want honeybars with the berries this time."

"Yeah, yeah, I hear you. I'd call you a parasite, but it's not like I'm not benefiting from you either."

"See? We have such a great working symbiosis, I'm surprised we haven't been marked for observation study projects."

"Bleh, sure."

 

The second dinging of the five minute bell goes off, and you both end up sprinting to the second floor _(it's utterly unfair trying to keep up with someone whose legs make up twice your height)_.

 _(There's still that..._ icky _, squirming sensation, it's happening in the pit of your gut and somewhere in the back of your head. You don't like it and you don't like that it's_ not _going away.)_

 

★♋★ 

 

" _Soo_ lucky Ms. Paint was subbing today, we were able to go over the study answers from yesterday," Nepeta yawns, seeming very ready for a nap.

"If you want I could lend out my guide to you, too," Sollux offers.

She considers it very seriously, humming with her eyes closed,"Hrmmmmmmm, that would be a good idea.....but no thanks! I can do it! I have Equius to help me, anyways, if I do need a ready study guide."

"Yeah," Gamzee agrees, lazily stretching his arms behind his head, mindful of his horns,"Equibro is real good in being studious and the like, he probably got his packet all filled out too. Be no problem to be aiding his kittysis. Helps me out a bunch too."

_(He seems more aware of things today, usually he'd just be out of it, but you do like seeing this more awake Gamzee, even if he does forget to feed himself.)_

 

"Speaking of..."

The subject of the conversation is spotted towards the back of school grounds with a small group of other kids....who are bombarding the ground floor windows with whatever they have on hand.

 

"The fuck!?"

"EQUIUUUUUUS!!! THE _FRICK_ ARE YOU DOING, THAT'S BAD!! YOU'RE GONNA GET SUSPENDED!!!"

You all rush over there, but now what? Equius may not be one for violence-- normal Equius, at least --but he is fucking built for fighting, if any of you tried to stop him, it's a bad concussion and then some waiting to happen. Ideally Gamzee would have been able to take him down, but he's about as thin as Sollux, heck you can see his ribs through his shirt sometimes.

"No need to worry. Just having some FUN!!" He grins manically as he cocks a fist back and lets it slam into the brick, several cracks spreading out from the impact. The others with him cheer and continue their destruction of school property. He faces the rest of you,"What, you guys wanna join?"

Nepeta's face scrunches up into a snarl, she's not usually one to correct, but this is plain wrong and there's a desperate need for a role-switch here,"Equius, what the _hell_!? Do you really want to get in trouble for something like this?!!" She's stomping right up to him, looking very much ready to use Equius as a scratching post.

Equius laughs,"Wow, you're a lot lamer than I thought you were. And kinda annoying too," Nepeta looks stunned for the most part, and the hurt blooms across her features _(of fucking course, how does someone just say that to their moirail!!?)_. "I mean, how the hell did I put up with you for this long?"

You most definitely will not stand for this,"YOU BULGE-FONDLING BITCH HOW CAN YOU SAY SHIT LIKE THAT ARE YOU SHITHIVING RIGHT NOW ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL--"

Nepeta moves faster than any of you can really register, and then Equius is on the ground clutching at his face. Her whole body shakes with what must be a great effort to restrain herself,"...Is that really how you feel? You've been stupid weird all day, and clearly you're _still_ not really you. Talk to me when you get your fucking shit back together," she turns back towards the school building, the sheer wrath radiates off of her and causes anyone she passes to give her a wide berth.

Equius seems to have recovered, blue dripping from between his fingers. He calls to his new little entourage and they flee further behind the school.

 

You don't understand this...shift that he's made, like he's seriously not himself at all, and yeah, you agree with Nepeta, he really needs to get his shit together and dislodge his head from his ass _(again, that feeling of_ wrongness _. It starts to make something curl in your gut and you almost want to puke a little)._

"....Don't think I'm all too particular about that brother's choice 'a words, especially since they was made to make like verbal blows and hurt the heart," Gamzee stares after Equius,"...Imma go after him, see what this is all about and why he's got himself all twisted," he starts with slack motivation,"Maybe you's should go check up on kittysis, see to her being alright, cos I don't think I've ever seen 'em fight where it's gone to being bad like that."

"Gamzee!"

You're about to go with him, but Sollux stops you,"Wait, he's right. We should go make sure NP's okay."

 

★♋★

 

You find her nearly on the other side of campus, mechanically kicking at the border wall. There's blue speckles on her knee, you can sort of guess where that's from.

"Hey, you doing okay? Gamzee went to see what's up with him...Nepeta?"

She doesn't say anything, continues kicking at the wall, lips pressed thin. The kicking slows, until her foot is just dragging on the ground and comes to a stop completely. Finally she looks up at the two of you, mouth quivering and her eyes glassy and oh no, you know that face.

"...snff...sniffff...," There's very little warning and then Nepeta just _bawls_. Big beads of chartreuse gather up on the rim of her eyes, falling heavily from their own weight. She tries to speak through the sobbing, though it's difficult to make anything out.

"Wait, no no, uhh, don't cry....unless it's working..?....KK I tried, your turn,"Sollux looks to you, an awkward plea for help.

_(Hmph. Amateur.)_

You turn to Nepeta and open your arms,"Okay, c'mere."

Still wailing, she slumps over and her head lands on your shoulder (Oh come on!! Even Nepeta is taller than you!) and continues to wail into your uniform. You wrap her in a hug, pat up and down her back _(_ PAT _, not pap, that's a quadrant breach, and you are not that guy)_ , and repeat comforting things. "This is how you comfort your friends, Sollux, maneuver 'E & E', Embrace and Ensure."

He mock-swoons,"Oh yes, S-senpai! Your technique is the greatest--"

"None of that!! I've seen your animes, I know what goes on there."

Nepeta starts shaking terribly, making soft choking sounds. Then you realize she's laughing.

"Nyeheh, _*snifff*_...y-you'd be the best senpai though."

"Please Karkat-senpai!! Teach me your secrets!!" Sollux is still at it, which makes your face grow hot and you have to scold him for awkward advances. The bell rings, and you use it as an excuse to get away. You steal looks at Nepeta and are some bit of relieved to see that at the very least she's not in tears, though that's just what's on the surface, you bet inside she wants to throttle Equius and figure out what's wrong with him...There's that internal twisting, and this time you think of John; this just might have something to do with him.

 

 ★♋★

 

"KK," Sollux stops you on your way out of the classroom, pulling you to the side.

You give him a questioning look,"What is it?"

He purses his lips, holds his breath for just a second before letting it go,"Okay, I wasn't sure if I should say anything...but I, I think this might have something to do with why...with what's going on with Equius."

"Huh!?" What does he mean? "Well go on, you've already started, you might as well finish!"

"Well," he scratches behind his head and starts fiddling with the zipper of his bag,"...Oh bluh, welp, here it is: you know that new place that opened? That-- well I guess it's orange --but that orange building, Fortune Place or whatever. I...saw Equius going in there yesterday."

"Wait, when? I thought you left up the other street."

"I did...technically. I'm working on a experiment study thing, though that's not really important right now, but I was checking on an item that I left stationed near there, and...let's just say I happened to see Equius acting a bit shifty when he went in there."

As much as you want to ask details, that's not as important as the information you've received. "Are...are you sure?"

"Pretty friggin' sure, here look," he pulls up a video file on his cell, skips forward some and shows you. It's not a very clear video, something that surprises you to be of Sollux's work, but it's done it's job well enough. Sure as the sky is Equius' large frame-- in all his normal, typical school day glory, you might add --in front of the loud, flashy building with it's flickering neon sign.

You make some sort of surprised sound. How did he get this? "How'd you record it?"

Sollux clears his throat,"That's not really...important now, but to get back to the point I think we should check this place out for ourselves later. Did Gamzee ever get back to you with anything on EQ?"

You know that his question is meant to distract you from yours, but that does raise a very important thought...in spite of you forgetting about it,"No, no he hasn't."

 _(Now that_ feeling _comes again, this time there's literally something churning in your stomach and you're beginning to feel very sick. You need to find John.)_

 

 ★♋★

 

"Hmmm...I see," John muses aloud, visibly contemplating what you've just told him. His moue takes on a self-satisfied expression and if he had eyebrows, you're sure they'd be waggling,"Y'know~ It seems like something ' _evil~_ ' is at work here. Just saying. Maybe it's something we should check out, hm?"

 

John was waiting for you at the gate, immediately affixing himself to your shoulder and rushing you away from the crowds. Explaining the situation, he's already come to the conclusion you were kinda maybe sorta afraid of.

"So...you mean that Equius and those other kids..."

"Mhmm, you're right on the money there, pal. Most likely being mind-controlled."

"I guess. And there is that Fortune Place, can't get much more suspicious than opening right up all of a sudden."

"Right again. Hey, you're a lot smarter than I gave you credit for."

"If you want to continue being a talking cat, I suggest you keep your tongue to yourself."

"If you want to help your buddy out, I suggest you get ready to head in there, if you know what I mean."

"Wait," you skid to a stop,"First off, we're not really buddies, he's my friend's moirail, which by extension I guess does make him a friend, but he's more like an an acquaintance that has yet to earn a reason for me to truly dislike him. Second, the _fuck_ do you mean 'head in there'? As in, you want me to fight again?"

John grins,"Well, that is more or less the idea."

"So, let me get this straight: You, want _me_ , to risk _my_ neck, against some _bullshit_ unnatural forces, which to be quite honest with you, I'm not sure if you are aligned with them yourself and you're just playing me like a sad piano. Meanwhile, as I'm doing this ' _job_ ', I am not getting paid, nor am I receiving any kind of benefits to my knowledge and understanding. Is that everything?"

The little bastard actually thinks about it,"Hrrmmm, weeeell, when you put it like _that_...yeah, that sounds about right."

 

You could strangle this shitty cat and throw him in the river and there would be none the wiser.

 

"Oh c'mon! The payment is the joy and satisfaction you get from helping protect people from their unknown assailants! Isn't that something?"

"Rrrrrgh, okay you know what, fine!! I'll do it, BUT. _When_ I die, because of you, just know this. With whatever shred of will I have left, I will repossess my damn corpse and _drag_ my ass to find you because I will take you down with me."

"Alright! Glad we got that out of the way! Now, transform~."

"...Why?"

"Because we're here, duh."

 

You look up and yeah, that building is right there. If you go a few steps more, you'd be literally at the front door.

....

You are so not ready for this shit.

"You mean I have to fight them now??"

"Hey, now or never. D'you want more people to end up brain-washed?"

"Ugh, okay........," you fish out the pendant-- an object you've been trying not to think about too much --and hold it in your fist...but nothing happens,"...Uhh.."

John sighs (you get the distinct feeling he's calling you an idiot in his head) and shakes his head, little bell jingling,"So you say,'Cancer Prisma Power, Make Up'. Go on."

"...Right," You take a deep breath, duck into an alley and hope to whatever god that no one walks by.

 

" ** _CANCER PRISMA POWER, MAKE UP!!!_** "

 

Once more you are enveloped in that brilliant light, it's warm and safe, and it feels like you're being filled with pure energy. Your body is directed again by whatever force that wills it, skating silken touches across your skin, against the essence of you. Flashes of dreams dance before your eyes and you know what they are, what they mean, _it_ , _names_ , _words_ , they're all on the tip of your tongue but it's just not getting _through_ and--

 

You come back and it feels like you've been dumped back out into reality, and the urging of the responsibility ahead of you breathes, and now it feels like you want to do this. You _can_ do this. 

"Ready?" John walks ahead of you, leading to a door on the side.

As much as you'll ever be.

"I guess. Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate how i was supposed to be getting better with update time, like this was meant to come out fricking A G E S ago, and yet, here we are, very much behind schedule,
> 
> @me:dishonor on you, your ancestors, and your cow  
> @life: can u just fucking chill?? pls?? can u not??
> 
> (if anyone has any advice on update schedules and how to keep them, plz halp meh)
> 
> ((ALSO if anyone has anything that they'd like better explained in the FAQ, please let me know, I'll be putting some info up soon))
> 
> (((how was summerteen romance karkat-senpai i tried)))


	9. Fight Of Fates, But Not Really

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat is totally doing this, guys. He's making it happen. Guest appearance by Tuxedo Shades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> QwQ look, this came out sorta on time, not really

You walk down the hallway from the side door, cautious with a strange new sense of confidence. It must be...the suit or the transformation or _something_ , because you're sure you wouldn't feel like this otherwise. In fact, normal you wouldn't even _be_ here, you'd have nope'd the fuck out if it wasn't for shitty talking cats invading your life and convincing you to do otherwise.

You can hear someone talking, and around the corner is another door. It gets louder the closer you get, so you assume that must be your next destination.

 

"--didn't expect this many from one day, but that's _more_ than enough! Now go, turn your havoc upon the town! I'll gift that youthful, rebellious energy you'll create to my master."

 

 _Bingo_.

 

"Even worse than the underhanded stealth of business, are those who are inconsiderate and think nothing of the feelings of others!!" You shout loudly, eliciting confused murmurs and an angry response.

" _Who's there!? Show yourself!!?_ "

All too willingly you kick the door open-- relief when it doesn't swing back at your face, that would have been a horrible blow to your intimidation factor --and stride right the fuck in.

"Guided by Blood," Huh, that's new, but now that the word flow has started it can't really stop,"Soldier of Romance and Passion, Sailor Cancer!!"

" _Sailor Cancer??_ "

"In the name of the previous world before us, let the weight of the Irons drag you back to where you belong!!"

 

Then you feel yourself immediately drop, new reflexes kicking in and in your place where you were standing are some cards _(must be some strong sharp ass cards)_ stuck in the wall at the level where you're sure your head would have been. You look around for your attacker," _HEY!!_ Watch it, fuckin' cheat..."

"You don't have time to worry about that, stand up!!"

Right. You rise and get a better look at your opponent, seeing for yourself their own terrible transformation. One second there's an unrealistically beautiful lady standing there, the next her face, her skin, it all just seems to rot, greening and curling in on itself. Her hair does the same, becoming coarse and cragged, and her legs disappear and now it seems like she's floating. A distorted grin widens on her face as she points at you with a shriveled hand," _Get them!_ "

 

You didn't really take into account the small fucking army gathered around her, Equius being spotted among the numbers. Their skin takes on the same sickly hue and it's like you're watching a 3D zombie movie, except for the part where they are actually after you.

"Aw, shit."

"Okay! New plan, how about-- _RUN_."

Except that new plan has already failed, seeing as some of them were smart enough to go for the door. Again, you are being cornered, a situation you are liking less and less, nor are you confident you can jump high enough to reach the conveniently open window. You do manage to kick a few heads down _(you are beginning to like this 'kicking people without consequences' thing, you will say that much)_ , but you don't think you can hold out against so many. And then there's Equius, like there's _not_ enough of a problem. You glare meaningfully at John, emphasizing your threat from earlier.

_(So much for living...)_

 

Suddenly there's a scream of pain, and your assailants freeze in place. The monster lady scrabbles with crooked fingers at a long black needle stuck in her body, piercing through a glowing piece of something. While frozen, from the group of people are also glowing shapes on their respective persons. There's no reaction from them whatsoever when you move freely, and closer inspection of the objects reveals them all to be about the same size and shape and you realize they're all cards.

 

" ** _RRRRrrrraaaghh_**!! _Another_!? Who else is here!!?"

 

"Of course it would happen that I'm be fashionably late for a date. Yo, long time no see."

You know that voice. You both look up at the same time for the voice, immediately drawn to the shape in that conveniently open window. _Ugh_ , it's that guy again. The moonlight glints off his stupid fairy hair and it sparkles in such a cheesy way you can't bear to look at it for much longer. The rest of him is still as classy as last time, fancy hat, fancy waistcoat, fancy shoes, fancy sword cane, and _stupid_ fancy visor shades.

_(You're not going to believe in coincidences, twice is too much already, he's got to be following you.)_

"Oh, great," you deadpan, slipping away from the cornering mass-- if only you had a camera, you put that shit on ShutterPile --and recollect yourself. Tuxedo _(you're not going to bother with his full name because it's stupid)_ drops from the window, landing on his feet and saunters to join you.

"I had a feeling you were in trouble," the git smarts at you, seeming to radiate a self-satisfied smugness.

"Oh, _sure_."

"Really, I had to change from my pj's on the way over. Do you know how hard it is to fix a bowtie on the run?"

"That's assuming it's not a clip-on."

"Ooh, ouch. Well, in any case, some advice for the future. No matter how hard it gets, don't ever give up. No matter how hopeless, don't give in. Have some faith in yourself."

"Inspirational."

"Oh please, don't even try to fake it. I saw how you looked a moment ago, don't you try to play it off."

He has a point, and you have to look away with a huff, partly because you can feel warmth rush to your face and a little because yeah, he's right, you were ready to just stop...though the thought of haunting John is _very_ tempting.

"Q-quit worrying about that, there's still this mess to deal with," you gesture to the monster as a distraction, who has realized that she's not getting that needle out anytime soon and has taken an aggressive position.

"If you say so. At least she can't use her card tricks anymore."

Right after he says that, she lunges forward, swinging her head around and sending her hair straight at the two of you. The strands tangle together into claws _(??? How the fuck???)_ and you manage to dodge away, thankful for magically implemented reflexes.

"Okay, so she has hair magic. Unexpected, but whatever. You should probably do your thing now."

"What? Oh, that."

As soon as she unsticks from the ground she strikes again, hitting the wall as you move out of the way,"Jeez, give me a moment!"

 

You balance your footing and feel that great weight of energy surge forth," ** _Carcino Tiara Action!!_** "

 

You throw your circlet and it arcs in a stream of light, this time with much more control than before, smoothly slicing into the hair, the card, and finally it's target.

" ** _NNAAUuuughh--!!_** "

It screeches until the body turns dark and falls apart into ash, something glittering in the dust, tinkling as it drops. Again John darts in for whatever it is and moves back to the safety of a wall. There's a sense of dissipation, something leaving the air. The rest of the cards disintegrate and the bodies behind you start dropping, the people unconscious.

Tuxedo steps forward, clicking his pocketwatch,"Hm, that went much faster than our last meeting."

You sigh,"Huh, guess I'm getting the hang of this."

He exhales, tilting his head wistfully,"I'd have liked for this to last a little longer, but I'm afraid we'll have to cut this date short."

You snort,"Right, because this is _so_ my idea of a romantic outing."

"Heh, glad you feel the same," he moves away toward the window,"Let us meet again, my Lovely Knight!" With that he bounds upward, nearly scaling the wall and then he's outside.

 

"' _Lovely Knight_ '?" you repeat. 

"How smooth thy flirtations are, O Knight."

"Oh c'mon, I was _not_ flirting," you deny,"It was friendly, casual banter, casting aside that I'm not sure if he's either friend or foe or just here to annoy me."

"Sure, whatever you say, ' _Lovely Knight_ '."

"Stop that, that was corny as heck, and I will throw up if I hear it again, goddamn shady asshole..."

"Aw that's sweet, you're on the cute nickname stage," John teases in that dumb sing-song voice.

"Enough!! Anyway, what was that thing you picked up? You got one last time, too," you attempt to throw him off.

John rolls his eyes,"Spoilsport," he shakes his head, jingling the bell at his neck until something sparkly comes out,"This is a piece of Grist grain."

"...It...looks like one of those candies--"

"It's _not_ a candy. You try to eat this, and then.....well, it's not good, so don't try it!" He swipes it and re-absorbs _(??)_ it into his bell.

 

You give him a skeptic look and move away, heading for the front door.

"Wait! Don't you wanna go out the side? So that no one sees you?"

Oh yeah, that's a thing.

 

Someone from the amongst the bodies stirs," _Urghh_....fiddlesticks, my head..."

Only one person you know uses that word. 

"W-who's there...?"

"Uhhh...," you've got to think of a cover. You make your voice as even and businesslike as possible,"...S-some people were causing trouble, I was here to put an end to it. That is all. T-take care!!"

"Wait!" 

But you don't wait, you make a mad dash for the side door, down that hallway, and outside to the alley. You glance around for any passerby's, and run across the street to find another alley to change in.

"' _That is all_ '?" laughs John, bounding along on the side of you.

"S-shut up! I had to think fast!"

"It's not like he would've recognized you."

"You don't know that for sure!"

He teases you the whole way home and it's hard to think about not kicking him like a sports ball.

 

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

"How _dare--!!?_ " You have to clamp your hand over her mouth and physically restrain her, lest she give your positions away and your abilities are compromised.

"I know, I know, but just calm down," you try to soothe, but wow is she persistent, peeling your hand off enough to speak.

"She fucking _copied_ me!! That's one of _MY_ things--"

"Look, how can they have copied you when they don't even know we technically exist? And look anyway, it's dead."

Sure enough, after seeing the newest fodder monster die in a curtain of ash, she quiets to some extent.

"....I'm still mad, though."

"Okay, alright. I understand you're still upset about the fact of, _but_ it has already been dealt with, so it should no longer be a problem. Hey, weren't you the one who said that we couldn't reveal ourselves to fight?"

She pouts, and it's so endearing of an expression, your smile grows that much more,"...Fine. I'm sorry, I was being irrational. You're right."

"And anyway, your ability is tons better, they only _wish_ they can copy the level of perfection that you've trained it up to."

"That's only because--" She stops herself, and you probably should have stopped yourself too. She doesn't like to be reminded of...well, of then.

"I'm sorry--"

"No, you're fine. Let's drop it, please."

 

She composes herself and stands calmly,"We've got to go anyway. They'll send out another to take the place of this one."

You rise too, take her hand as she readies a warp path within the shadows. You wish that there was something, anything, that you could do to help her feel better, help her forget. But, it's just not the purpose for why you exist.

"...Let's go, then."

Both of you fall into the shade.

 

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

"' _Lovely Knight_ '? Aww, how sappy, Mr. Berry-Beet face!"

"Ugh, can you let it go? I didn't know what to say, it just came out!"

"Yeah, like your romance boner!"

"Hey, that's a low blow."

"Below the belt."

"Ohmigod, stop."

 

You roll your eyes and start walking away to go home because you shouldn't have to endure this much teasing, you mean, you get it enough from your sibs plus your adoptive ones, including Crocker-berts and Harleys.

She cackles,"Just having fun, don't let it get to you too much. I'm done anyway, see?" Some more giggles, then you hear her click-clack next to you, clapping a hand on your shoulder,"Later, my good acquainted friend," and she pretty much free dives off the ledge, using whatever part of the alley's terrain to stick a perfect landing. All the cool points to her, all of them.

 

You head home yourself, home being an entire apartment complex owned by Roxy's mom, which you have no doubt there was some sort of unapproved scientific researchification going on because Roxy's mom is so cool, her coolness furthering to where she let's you guys just crash there whenever you want, on the basis of she no longer needed the building for mentioned researchification. You don't know whether it was a fail or success, and it's been hinted that you don't want to find out.

Unironically entering through your own window, because you forgot the door key and have found only the window key, you are almost surprised to find Rose sitting at your desk. Almost because on the one hand, you should have expected it, this is fucking _Rose_ your sister that you're talking about. And on the other...well, to be honest, you were totally not expecting her to be there.

"Welcome back home, _Onii-san_."

"Rose, I thought we already proved that we can't turn life into an anime." She hasn't turned around yet, which let's you flash into your closet, safely clicking the lock and de-transformatizing _(you don't know what fancy word there is to un-transform, so there you go, folks)_.

"Oh come now, David. You can't fault me for the attempt. Just think of the many possibilities available to us then."

"Way ahead of you there. Except where senpai finally notices me and we spend the rest of our school days courting and flaunting it in front of _everybody_ , doing all the cutesy-pukesy dating things that dating people do," you grunt-drawl through a hastily thrown on shirt. The chair squeaks as it's turned, and just beyond the closet door you sense a body _(nah, you just see Rose's shadow under the door)_.

"Usually when senpai notices you, that's supposed to be the end, not counting for holiday specials and event released OVA's. I don't think that will be happening for quite some time."

Aha! Subject chance! You quickly open the closet door, walk out in mismatched pj's and leap spread-eagle on your bed,"What, you see something else, great and powerful Overseer?"

Rose says nothing, walking over to claim a spot on the bed next to you. You don't like this open silence, especially from her. Yet, she sighs, one of the fakest sighs you've ever heard,"Well, to be honest, it's not entirely important now. What did you find?" Dammit, she's changed the subject back on you!

"Shenanigans. Shenanigans all the way through."

"...And?" She prompts you for more, and you might as well, she'll get it out of you one way or another.

"...Essentially the same trap as last time, just a different guise. Same tricks, same fix. They were there again, Sailor Cancer."

 

Your sister hums, rises and and crosses to the door,"They are a sudden variant, but useful all the same...," Rose opens the door to leave,"Good night, brother."

The door clicks, and you're finally left alone. You get the feeling that Rose already knows you can transform, there are very few secrets that can be kept from her if she's set on finding them out. In any case you'd like to give yourself the benefit of the doubt that there are some things that you can keep from her. There is always the off chance she doesn't know, since she seems to always play it off like she does.

Your eyes sting, _goddamn_ you're tired.

_(Seven hours, thirty-eight minutes, twenty-two seconds until you supposedly have to wake up, since you're technically not required to do anything on your break. How long until you meet them again?)_

 

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

If there is anything to be glad about, it's that Equius is back to normal. Albeit he's absolutely appalled upon hearing about his reckless and asshole-ish behavior, Sollux recounting to him in great detail about the ordeal and even playing the video for him.

"I'm done for. All that's left for me is misery and a blemished record. Of _course_ she doesn't want to talk to me," he despairs, perfect posture slumping on himself.

You clear your throat,"Better apologize now, since you seem back to yourself. She was very adamant that you speak to her when you regained your senses," as a side thought, you wonder if he remembers being kneed in the face, but you'll leave that between them, it's not really your--

"Look, look. She _totally_ got you right there," Sollux, insensible friend he is, continues showing Equius the rest of the video, apparently having recorded all the way up to the part where his nose is bleeding. Welp.

Equius groans into his hands, embarrassed and angry with himself,"What a mess this is....," He starts to leave,"I need to fix this."

"Damn right you do," you strongly reaffirm this _( ~~they've been together since elementary, you're not ready to go down with this ship~~ )_.

 

★♋★

 

You and Sollux watch from the window like a pair of dweebs, observing the exchange. Nepeta and Equius stand face to face, with his head hanging down in guilt and shame and her sternly folded arms and fierce, businesslike gaze.

"I can't hear, open the window!"

"Push out, not up!"

 

When you finally get it open, missing most of the conversation, you're just in time to see a tacklepounce, Equius on the ground, and Nepeta throwing the classroom door open.

"GOOD MORNING!! Didja hear!? Sailor Cancer appeared _again_ last night!! It wasn't a dream!"

You throw a glare at Sollux and turn back to Nepeta,"Okay that's great and all, but how about you and Equius?"

"Hmmmm...well, he apologized, and tried to explain himself, but I don't think he could do it furry well...but that's okay, he didn't even remember any of it. Weird! I kinda...want to investigate," her expression turns to something between critical and skeptic-- a scary look on Nepeta --and she thinks aloud,"Curiosity killed the cat, they say...," before switching back to excited and animated,"Whatefur, point is he apologized, which is what I wanted, so I have no reason to be mad anymore!"

You expected as much, but _dammit_ you wanted to hear what they said _(though the following applies: It's none of your business)_.

"Well that's good," Sollux says, unzipping his bag and pulling out his laptop. "So now all that's left is what happened to Gamzee?"

" _Holy_ _shit_ I forgot!!" You pull out your phone like you're gonna dial his number, but you don't have it, go figure.

Nepeta's lip curls up into a victorious smirk, like she's found some small helpless animal and she's about to pounce," _I_ have Gamzee's number, if you want to call him Karkitty~."

You flush immediately,"N-no thanks! I'm sure he's fine! It's not like I'm his lusus or anything!" You spit defensively. _(You fool! Stop digging yourself a deeper hole!)_

She makes that one stupid face, putting her hand over her mouth and giving you that condescending-pity look,"Eheh, are mew sure?? It's nyat a purroblem at all~."

You spend until Mr. Spades comes in sputtering your denial upon deaf ears, and eventually Sollux joins in on teasing you. You swear, after all you go through for these people, this is how they repay you?

~~_(You hate to admit it, but you love your friends.)_ ~~

 

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

_"Equiusssh~ Whatcha doin'?"_

_He answers while turning the page,"Reading," It's a bland, flat sort of answer, the kind when he's paying attention but not really. You want nothing more than to swipe the offending book out of his hands, that will at least alleviate some of your boredom._

_You try again,"E-quiu-hisssss~ c'mon, let's go do something. I wanna explore!"_

_"Why don't you explore the wonderful world of books and such with me. I will be the guideman."_

_You hiss,"Bleh, no, that's not what I meant. I meant the castle,_ outside _, the_ city _!!"_

_"Goodness, no. Much safer to stay put where there are eyes on us and where we will do the least amount of harm."_

_"Ngrgrr...you're no fun. Fine then, I'll go find_ Aradia _, she'll want to go with me!"_

 _That was a low blow, if the undignified choke was anything to go by, but he's been reading for_ DAYS _!! He doesn't even work on any of his tinker toys or nothing, just sits there all day, in the library, reading the same book for the past week. You mean it was fine the first couple of days, but now it's just ridiculous! He could take a break for once, can't he!? You head straight for the exit, not bothering to spare a backward glance. He can come join you when he stops being a silly fuddy-duddy moirail._

 

 _But now that you've said it....you don't know_ how _you're going to find her. Megido tends to turn up in the strangest of places. One of the many times you were in the library, something had brushed past the top of your head, come to find out it was Aradia, floating past you_ upside down _. Her answer was she wanted to see how long it took for her to get dizzy doing such a thing. Yes, Aradia was weird, but it was the best kind of weird, it showed there was always entertainment to be had in something._

 _Further down one of many hallways, you find the main garden enclosure. It's_ huge _. Perfect for solitary exploration._ And _you're still in the castle, how's them fruity bits?_

 _There's so many colors and smells, you wonder if you can trace them back to the originator? It would be good practice, considering it's an alien terrain you're using_ (it reminds you a lot of Terezi's forest, except probably less deadly, a miracle). _You wonder around the area, linking scents to various flowers, fruits and trees. You find one in particular, a small section of little white bloom clusters, that after inquiring one of the caretakers what it was, is now your favorite_ (it's named after you, you have your own flower!!) _._

_You continue on one of the strolling paths, stopping a few times to enjoy the view and let your sensitive nose get used to the blast of flora, lest you be overwhelmed and possibly pass out. Can't have none of that, no siree~! Terezi would love this, so many new smells and all the pretty colors. Even Kanaya, she used to have a garden before the war, maybe she'd like to come and visit around here, get some new ideas for her own garden plot. Feferi too, she's only got a kelp and coral botanic aquarium, maybe she'd like some land dwelling flowers as well._

_Maybe you also stop because you happen to catch a bit of chatter somewhere off to the side. You're not usually one to spy....aw who are you kidding? Besides, someone just giggled, you gotta see who it is now. You listen around for a bit longer, trying to find the closest spot without being detected and maneuver yourself up a tree like the expert huntress you are._

_And oh_ goodie _, what a treat you've found._

_A little ways away and below is Miss Maryam, who has already found her way to this garden paradise, talking away with one of the princesses. Smooth, Maryam, smooth._

_You find yourself excitably invested as you spot their hands touching_ (!!CONTACT HAS BEEN MADE!! PHYSICAL CONTACT HAS BEEN MADE!!) _oh so slightly and Maryam covering her lips as another little ladylike laugh tumbles out._

 

_How quickly, and quietly, can you get your sketchbook and come back? You can't risk it, they definitely would notice you now, and this is too good to pass up on._

_There's a slight rustling beside you, someone's discovered your hiding spot!?_

_Instead, somebody lands just barely quiet on one of the thick branches next to you. covered head to toe in dark, dull colors, the only giveaway is the bright platinum sway of hair: it's the other princess. When she finally notices you, with eyes wide and totally surprised, she pulls off the face cover and whispers,"I won't tell if you don't."_

_Immediately you whisper back,"Deal," and you both settle as quietly as you can to watch your prey together, giggling amongst yourselves and trying to keep from squirming too much._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two in one week, bc i owed y'all
> 
> ....i should work on animations, but its very tedious TTuTT  
> but im try guys
> 
> ((shit i should try to work on things in general/@life and universe and all things that probably dictate life: LOOK CAN YALL JUST FUCKING CHILL FOR LIKE FIVE MINUTES, GONNA TIRE ME THE FUCK OUT THEN SHIT BOI I DIE))


	10. Sleeping Beauty Syndrome Strikes!? Welp, Okay Then, I Guess...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karkat is the love-lusting protagonist, the most romanticest, it is him. Ms. Paint is a gotdang sweetheart of a saint, and maybe possibly radio podcasts are evil. Also some people name a sickness after a fairy tale, thus misleading many others into the wrong idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> imma try and keep this shit together guys, im try real hard.
> 
> fun side fact: sailor moon's canon horoscope is cancer (and i share a birthday with sailor mars~)

_"..._ _My youthful days are full of you, but now those days are in the past. My heart_

_aches to see you, and every time I do my head is filled with thoughts of you,_

_thinking 'Just once more, just like this'. I want to open my heart to you,_

_and let you know how much of these feelings are true, dearest love. I dream_

_for the day you can accept them."_

_"This heartfelt confession was sent to us from Ms. PastelPaintDream. We'll be reading out any other love confessions that comes our way. As a reward for sharing your heart with us and our listeners, we'll be sending each one this stunning bloom accessory, a lovely piece guaranteed to help that person of your dreams look your way. Thank you all again for listening to Absolute Midnight on 11.3. Your host DiamonD sincerely wishes that we meet another night."_

 

You hum to yourself, though it's more like a sigh. Your legs cross tight and you squeeze claws into your comforter. Love letters are an old, cliche thing, but still romantic. The notion of trying to put your feelings down into something tangible, something solid and coherent, just to hope that it'll reach something in that someone whom it's intended for. Or even receiving a letter, someone thinking of you in such a way that they'd even want to--

 

"Pthtbthbt. Confessions don't mean a damn thing if you can't tell them yourself," John quips leisurely from your window sill, totally and entirely ruining your moment.

"Wow, thanks. I didn't even ask."

"I know, I'm just doing my job as your most loyal of mascots, reading your mind and stuff to just hand out answers like a talk show host."

"Bet you can't guess what I'm thinking right now." 

John leers at you studiously,"Hrrmm...nah, not in my ability set. Hey, hey, know what you should do though? Go to sleep, Mr. Ohh-I'm- _Soo_ - _Tiired-_ And-I-Have-School-And-John-Is- _Soooo-_ Mean-And-Wants-Me-To- _Fight-Monsters-_ And- _Help-People-_ And- _Waahh_ \--"

You choose then to sacrifice a balled up sock and lob it at his little feline face _(you'd like to note that if he was a normal cat, you'd never do such a thing, lest you invoke upon the Wrath of Nepeta™)._

It doesn't stop him, he recovers and keeps fucking talking,"Anyways, if you have time to listen to late night radiocasts, you should use it to train up. You are a chosen warrior, after all."

"Urgh, I _know_ , shut up about it!!" You growl then take a breath because it's late and you don't know how any of your neighbors, should there be any actually next door to you, can withstand your lack of volume control,"I thought of something for that already..."

"Oh? What is it? It better not be that plastic thing you always slip under your pillow."

....

Shit, that was exactly what you were referring to, your cheap plastic toy sickle... But John doesn't need to know that.

"N-no! And I'm not telling you either. You'll just have to be boggled by the mystery. Now if you'll excuse me," you point at the window,"Get out and good night."

"Aww," he whines at you,"Can't I crash here? It's too far to go home. I'll be good, I promise," If anything, John knows how to work that kitten charm because dammit you almost say yes.

"Good try, still no. Begone, ye. Unlike you, you stalking piece of shit, I actually have things to do tomorrow," in finality you let yourself drop onto your pillow and pull the covers up as high as possible, or at least where you can still breathe, and turn on your side. First there's nothing, then a disappointed _mrr_ , and the closing of the window.

Now that you are-- _finally_ \--left alone to your own thoughts, what were you doing? Oh, right, love letters. Yes. Very good. Much romantic, they are... Oh bluh, it's no good, the moment was ruined _(CURSE YOU JOHN, RUINER OF MOMENTS!!)_ , now what do you do? Delve further into your head and think about every single embarrassing thing that ever happened? Eurgh, no. You'll take weird dreams that ruin your sleep over that.

_(When you do dream, again it's in that same, strange place with a you that's not really you and people that you should know but you just don't remember them at all.)_

 

 ★♋★

 

"SAAAAAAAAFE!!"

You slide into the classroom right as the final bell sounds, Nepeta and Sollux waiting by the door and Gamzee leisurely slumping and cheering from his seat. Almost none of the other students are in their seats.

"Uhm, what? Wasn't that the last tardy bell?"

"Sure wath, except that we don't have a teacher."

"I think Ms. Paint is subbing today, but even this is late for her."

 

It's not until at least another five minutes or so later that someone stumbles into the outside of the door, hands searching for the door before slowly opening it. In trips Ms. Paint, hair a mess and her scarf askew, her shirt is half-tucked and skirt is a little crooked, all in all a mess. Heck, even the bags under her eyes are _something_ , and that is a thing you can take a goddamn award for.

"...G-good morning, everyone...," she seems so winded just from speaking, her mouth spreading into a wide yawn,"Let's...oh, let's do-do a role call...!" She looks down at the role list she's dropped, and you notice a sparkly, elaborate ornament pinned to the lapel of her blazer. It's a pretty pin, but it seems so...gaudy. Flashy, ostentatious, whatever. But it's like now that you see it, you can't help but look at it, it's one of those eye-catching things.

"Actually, today is...free study. Catch up," Ms. Paint stops to yawn again, her head drooping further down,"on whatever needs catching up. Be good...," And then she slumps fully into the seat and nestles into her arms, completely and entirely asleep.

None of you are at all sure what to do after that, some of the students separate into their friend groups and immediately start talking, others actually do begin studying. Sollux already has his laptop out and logged in, however his fingers twitch hesitantly over the keyboards and he seems more focused on Ms. Paint than his personal work. Nepeta and Gamzee move into the now empty desks adjacent to yours.

Nepeta pokes at you,"Ms. P is _paw_ fully tired, but to be honest I could go for a catnap myself."

"We just got here."

"Well Gamzee's already knocked out, look," she points behind you, and sure enough, Gamzee's head is in the same position as Ms. Paint's, using his bony-- bony-ass --arms as pillows.

"Man down," Sollux clicks around on his screen before turning it to face you,"anyway, have you heard about this yet?"

Nepeta jumps to attention in her seat,"Ohh, that's the umm, that sleeping sickness that's going around! I know about that! Aren't they calling it Sleeping Beauty Syndrome?"

"Sure is a romantic name for a disease. What is that anyway?" you ask. New diseases are found everyday, though with the advanced medical science and technology cultured on this planet its rare to _not_ have a cure for most things. Apparently before any sort of intergalactic relation was ever formed with Earth, humans used to die from the most simple sicknesses, it was a wonder that they survived this long, though it's no joke about them being hardy people. _(In fact, you've heard that most shuttles want at least one human on board because of their adaptability.)_

"It's a new epidemic! You go to sleep and you _never_ wake up!!" Nepeta fakes with a 'scary' voice,"but you don't die either! You just...sleep, I guess. Until doctor people find a cure for it anyhow. Pretty much random coma illness. There's been seventeen cases already, none of the victims have woken up yet."

 

Sollux is still staring at Ms. Paint, which sort of makes something finally click in your brain the same time as Nepeta's.

" _Ohmifuu--_ "

Nepeta has already dashed to the teacher's desk and goes from careful nudges to quick panicky shaking," _So she's not waking up at all??!_ "

"Eeeck-!! Check Gamzee, _checkgamzeedammit_!"

"'Sup...?"

"He's awake!!"

Things escalate from there, most of your class making an attempt to rouse your teacher. A half hour later, still nothing, except for the next class over sends someone to see what's going on, and their teacher ends up making the run to the faculty room to call for help.

 

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

Gosh, are you sleepy! If Karkat had let you sleepover at his place, you wouldn't be so tired. You mean, your ' _commute_ ' from your place to his is pretty tiring, considering certain circumstances...such as you being in the state that you're in. Things like that. Small, burdensome difficulties, that's all, not like you haven't dealt with anything like that before.

_(Ah, sometimes you wish you could go back to that time...)_

_Pfft_. Karkat's just as hardheaded as ever, probably even more than before. Just as fun to prank too. By which you mean you changed the setting on his alarm by just a bit. You bet he's at school getting a scolding. Is that what they do in schools now? Is that even a thing? Ehh, probably not. Whatever, you kind of got what you wanted. Now what are you looking for? Oh yeah! Your designated base camp! Where you can contact your other partner!

 

"OMIGAWW KITTEEH!"

Pro of designated base camp being at the arcade close to Karkat's house: It's essentially close to your ward, which is where you need to be. Con: Roxy _reeeeaaally_ loves cats. Also Roxy works there, which makes it hard to do that thing you need to be doing.

Oh, but Roxy is just _so_ awesome, she's like the best fun not-cousin ever! 

 _Assume position!!_ You think to yourself, coming to a stop at the entrance and waiting for her to come to you. As expected, she goes for head pets first and you do you do your _goddang_ best not to snort or sneeze while you push up into her palm and give her the most Realistic™ meow you're capable of _(Aw yeah, head pats!!! Best pats!!)._

"Hello there sweetheart!! Did come to visit me again~?"

Of course you don't answer, you are a cat. You are the kitty-est of cats, it is you, so you keep your trap shut even when you are lifted up into warm arms and carried inside. You try to act languid and almost limp, because believe it or not you're still not quite used to this form. But from your vantage point, you can survey most of the room easily. Dirk is calmly and methodically tapping away at one of the consoles, probably putting his vacation to the fullest use possible, and Jake is in the seat next to him cheering him on. It must be his day off as well _(from working at an animal reserve, kind of like a zoo, but not really)_.

"Boys!! Lookie, we gots a visitor~." Roxy waltzes down the aisle with you in tow, scritching behind one of your ears _(omg yes, there, please)_.

Dirk is unable to look away from his screen, though Jake turns to take a look at you,"Well hello, Blue!"

"Pfft, you're still calling him that?"

"What's wrong with Blue?" he says with a defensive pout. You immediately think to yourself _Everything, they all know about your 'blue people' obsession, don't you lump me in with that_.

"It's a gotdang trope is what, naming an animal the color of it's fur, eyes, features, et cetera~. I know you've got a better imagination than that, Jake-babe."

Roxy and Jake are still talking when you decide to slip out of Roxy's _(wonderful)_ arms, slink along the floor and rub your whole body against Dirk's leg, which causes him to start a little and you get to hear the game over tones of his round. An unexpected win, but not one that you shall decline, thank you very much.

"Shit, John," he swears and reaches down for you. No reason to worry about him using your name.

"You're still calling him 'John'?"

"Look, you look right here," he holds you up to face towards them,"and you guys fucking tell me that he doesn't remind you of John."

Jake squints through his glasses, further inspecting,"Well, I do suppose I can see the reason why you might think so. Some of the markings and the way the fur runs does sort of give our wee friend here a 'bespectacled' look about him."

"Better than 'Blue' Or 'Neytiri' for that matter," Roxy jokes, specifically aiming the prod at Jake. He purse his lips and harrumphs at the lot of you for not comprehending the greatness of old outdated movie plots _(pfffft like you're any better)_.

You give Dirk's hand a love nip and slide out of his lap and scurry around towards the back of the store. You hear the topic switch over to Jane, but there are things to do, no time to chat! Or, well, eavesdrop since you can't really be apart of the conversation. Besides, you need to report in and tell your other partner how things are going.

"Dirk~ I hear rumors from the beyond that you're gonna be holding a couple home concerts, wink wonk~?"

"Any and all such things are absolutely false, I am on _vacation_ , Roxy," he immediately disputes, sounding almost offended and throwing a couple more coins into the credit slot and restarting his game. That much would be true, you're sure it must get tiring being famous and all, gotta get off the global grid sometime, right? Dave and Dirk deserve the rest.

Huh. A question poses to the front of your head, where is Jane? If these guys are here, then she can't be far. Unless she's working right now, interning and all that good stuff. Which you think is good for her, if she's planning on inheriting her grandfather's-- you guess he's also kind of _your_ grandpa?? You mean, he is your nanna's brother --inheriting grandpa's company.

Ack! You're getting sidetracked!

The sound of a siren comes and goes down the street in front of the store, an ambulance speeding towards the direction of the school.

 

...Fuck.

 

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

"Of course they're at it again, when aren't they causing trouble?"

They breathe out in subdued exasperation. It's understandable, these fuckers that you're dealing with are coming up with more annoying ideas by the day. These mass attacks are getting more frequent too. If only you'd get a hint, something, anything at least, on the most of what you're allowed to do. 

_(You need to find the rest of them, but you aren't allowed to actively seek them out. What kind of bullshit order is that!? 'Do not search far, they will come to you', bluh fucking bluh. You've got one active piece, seven, no thirteen, possibilities noted, and you're not even sure if they're the right ones. Arghh, this damn situation is so frustrating.....this whole thing is so frustrating. You hate this.)_

"Zip it, someone'll hear, then we'll be in for it."

They put their hands up in defeat, and proceed to 'zip' it, drawing a finger over their mouth, just as you get to hear some of the juicy info you were waiting for.

 

"Are you certain that it is sure to work this time? You've returned to me with failures before."

"Yes, my lady. We just need a little more time, and then we'll have all the energy we need for our great master. Everything is going as planned, we might even end up with surplus," the Dignitary's voice hums lowly, but you are in a much better spot than last time, so this works out quite well.

"Hm. I'll let the results speak for themselves."

"I understand that you may be doubtful of me due to some particular interference, however with one of my minions that's been employed for the task, we've ensured our success."

"Again, Dignitary, I will let your results absolve you. Keep it in mind."

The Dignitary bows low, and disappears, leaving the Banished One's court to whisper amongst themselves, and her standing to retire into another chamber. That leaves the rest of the Dark Court to their own tittering in the darkness, and you are either free to risk exploration, listen for other information, or really just get the fuck out of there, because why would you be a fool and stay?

 

Urgh, you do anyway, your companion doesn't seem to have any interest in going anywhere...Besides, the court imps are chattering quite a lot and quite loudly.

 

" _Keeheeheeheeee_ ~ He is failing, he is _failing_!!"

"The Draconian is _useless_! Useless servant!"

"Foolish Diamond, he can only _stall_!!"

"Yes, yes!! The Black Queen will punish him! Soon, _soon_!!!"

"Punish him with the Dead Sleep, won't _ever_ go back, can't ever go back to what he _was_!!!"

"The Dignitary is a _waste_! He cannot stall the inevitable!!"

 

Wow, backstabbers the lot of them, aren't they? What's in it for them, you wonder, that they wish so much failure on the one.

"Hmm, well they're certainly intelligent, I can tell."

"Outward, probably not. Inside? I'll give them the benefit of the doubt."

They hum in false thought, dangling their feet over the ledge, abruptly standing up and shouting at the top of their lungs,-- _this goddamn fool!!_ \--"WELP. I GUESS WE SHOULD GET GOING THEN~."

"You--!!"

There's suddenly so much clamoring from down below, most of the imps start fighting over each other, trying to find your location. They sound closer than they should. With a growl you lodge a fist in your partners rags and drag the both of you through a shadow, holding your breath in to berate the nonexistent shit out of them on the flipside.

 

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

Ms. Paint is carried and escorted outside of the building. Several onsite medics have rounded your class up for mandatory check ups, which is understandably smart seeing as they want to check for symptoms and such, make sure the sickness isn't contagious and all that. Especially Gamzee, who keeps dozing off _(you swear to god, this guy is a goddamn handful)._ It seems a lot more trouble than anything _(for a split second, you're struck with that uncanny mental, inner ping or whatever it is, that the situation is more than it seems)_ , being asleep forever, though you do see the merit and romantic idea of it now; Forever living inside your dreams, not only is it a romantic concept, but the idea of not having to face the real world would appeal to most people. _(i.e., you)_.

"Poor Ms. Paint..."

"I hope she wakes up soon."

"That's freaking scary, man, I hope the doctors find a cure for that."

Your classmates express their concern for your teacher and the situation, many worriedly peering out of a window to get a better view of the ambulance, which is already pulling off of school property.

"I hope she's gonna be okay. What if she's like that forever?" Nepeta worries with teeth in the corner of her mouth. Everyone returns to chattering amongst themselves, and Sollux taps away one-handedly at his keyboard, turning his body towards you for better conversation.

"Then they're gonna have to find a syndrome name that topth 'Sleeping Beauty', because that's pretty damn fitting. Good thing GZ over here was just dozing, or else we'd be sending two people to the hospital."

You tug _(very)_ lightly at a lock of hair,"You hear that, you lucky bastard? On second thought, maybe you should have gone, they would have gotten some food into your bony ass. I swear to whatever deities that plague us, you wouldn't eat if no one told you to, simply because you 'forgot'."

Gamzee 'hmmm's and snores out a "thnnnk youuu.." but other than that he only moves to put his chin over his arms enough that he blearily open a single eye to signal that he's sort of paying attention to the conversation.

"Hmph, lucky you. Must be fantastic being nearly stuck in your own head most of the time."

Sollux gives you a dubious look with one brow-raised,"Why?"

You sigh,"Just saying, it's probably nice, forever dreaming. I bet everything is rainbows and miracles....actually, no, that sounds like a headache."

 

★♋★

 

"AARGH! Why can't you leave it alone??"

"Because I'm one hell of a jerk and also your worst best friend, and because you have no one else to talk to about your quadrant prospects, exhibit A being Nepeta, and also because your face is seriously the cutest thing when you are the slightest bit of embarrassed, it's so stupid," Sollux grabs onto a cheek and pinches like you're a grub,"See? Shit'th adorable."

You fight out of his grasp and try to rub away the light stinging,"You shut your shit up, I'm _adorabloodthirsty_ , thank you very much."

"Ahh, dipping into KN's vampire tastes, are we?"

"Is there no winning with you?"

"On the contrary, I have let you win sometimes. You just weren't looking."

"Oh har har, so _funny_."

 

You walk with Sollux today, as Nepeta had a date _(guess who the other participant is)_ and Gamzee shambled off to god knows where, not you, mumbling about working and stuff. Is he working? Can he...is he okay to work? As in, he won't hurt himself with whatever he's doing, right? You mean--

You groan inwardly, gosh why can't your feelings just keep to themselves and leave your head alone?? The heart and the brain are in different places for good reasons, and not just because they're both the things keeping you alive.

Sollux finally gives you a break to talk to you about one of his beehives and you could say it's almost cute the way he's actually made up a list of names for them, as if he can keep track and catalogue of every single organism that lives in his hivespace. Hahaha...you'd doubt it, but then again, this is Sollux. "I mean, you know how many names you can come up with from just two or three letters? A bunch, and that's just with some of the letters from what I named my queen."

"What?"

"I have dubbed her 'Honeypot'."

You look him straight deadpan," That is the worst use of Alternian Traditional History class that I have ever had the misfortune to know. Shame on you."

The fool just laughs,"Hey, y'know what, it works."

He moves on to a slightly more interesting topic, his new cram school sounds like one heck of a supplemental program. Does he even need it? Like isn't he smart enough alr--

"Kk- _doof_!!"

You collide hard with something, landing you on your butt and just a bit disoriented because the air was literally knocked out of you; _what the fuck??_

A hand is offered and you dazedly grab at it to pull yourself up, things suddenly clicking back into place and you are face to face with--

"Oh, not you!" _Him!!_ _(This isn't going to become a regular thing, is it?)_

"You're welcome, Nubby." He holds onto your hand for an extra second or two at least, just for the sake of raising your hackles, you're _sure_ of it.

"Oooh, making friends outside of school, KK?" Sollux pokes at you, mouth full of smirky snaggle-teeth. He can put that look right back where it came from or so help you you're going to knock them down his throat...in your head, anyway. You don't think you could actually punch Sollux in the teeth, let alone his face, for real, that is definitely not a healthy way to show any kind of irritation towards anyone you'd call friend.

Now on the other hand, this guy...

"We're _not_ friends."

"Oh, hold strong my breaking heart!" The guy grabs over his pusher and holds the other hand to his brow, falsely swooning,"Have I thought wrong all this time? Are we not entwined in the pitch-throes of hatefriendship? An unexpected blow, et tu, Nubs? Give it to me straight ol' Ceasarean, why don'tcha? Stab the shit outta all these feelings I thought were between us, just how I like it, you know me so well." It's almost a funny joke, considering you hardly know him at all. At the same time, what the fuck- you can't make any sense of what's coming out of his facegash.

"Who's having feelings for you, 'cause it sure as hell ain't me," For some reason that statement feels a lot less true than it should be. "Whatever, I'm going home. I don't have time to waste screaming with you for the unintelligence scoreboard--"

"Don't worry I got all the time in the world for you, babe," he winks _(how in the world does anybody wink so ridiculously smoothly it's almost swoon-worthy)_ and blows mock-kisses the same instant your face grows hot.

 _(What the heck?? You feel...there's no other word you can think of but 'weird', you completely feel like that right now_ (almost like this is familiar) _. What's wrong with you? Not that you're so in tune with your body or anything, but did your pusher just stutter offbeat?? You can't be that self-conscious...can you? Ack, no. Stop, stop thinking!!)_

"Hmph!" You skulk away _(totally not because of all that terrible fake-flirting and your own emotional discord, no not you)_ , leaving behind a snickering Sollux and that weird guy _(at this point, you're just going to refer to him as 'weird guy', it's a lot nicer than any of the other names you have for him)_.

 

A few minutes later Sollux jogs up to you, giggling and smiling into his hand as if he was a child who just found out the greatest secret ever.

"Why does your face look like that?" You inquire about his mouth squirming to keep a straight line.

His response is,"Nothing you need to be worried about...today, at least." Yeah, like that is supposed to make you not worry. Fantastic, your best friend and your current worst enemy are telling each other giggly preschool secrets behind your back. Absolutely nothing to be concerned about, those two being in cahoots.

"By the way, I'm totally gonna call you 'Nubs' from now on."

"Shit."

 

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

_Settled in one of the library tearooms, you have yourself and one of your lovely, dear siblings, sitting across the small rounded table. He fidgets, it's a small movement, but you'd be able to call a tell from your own twin, wouldn't you? It's one of his usual signs of discomfort, one hand pinching itself on the table and the other is most likely wrinkling up his trousers. Hells, his breath is far too controlled and it'd be oh so very funny if you didn't have a mission here._

_Sparing hilarity, you refocus his attention by clinking your teacup on the saucer before raising it to your lips,"It's been so long since our last tea visit, brother. I must admit that I have missed them," it is an absolute miracle that you do not snort into your drink, knowing full and well that he thinks the exact opposite for himself,"It's as if we don't see much of each other anymore," you tilt your brow and turn your mouth into the saddest line you know how, despite it being all for nothing; your twin knows you just as well as you him, it's near impossible to hide anything from each other._ (You will not care to recount the event in which you had been sneaking into the spirits cellar and on the third week when you had thought yourself so clever that you had never expected to see that Dave had indeed followed you, and had snitched to Roxy as well. They wouldn't allow you to live it down for months.)

_"Hardly," he almost laughs,"We've seen more of each other over the past few weeks than we've seen one of John's tricks actually catch you."_

_"It was a slight on my part and the issue has already been dealt with."_

_"Rose, you drowned him in slug ink, I don't even want to know how you managed to collect that much. We would've been at war if he didn't wake."_

_"It was a well deserved retaliation and I shall not apologize for it. That was my newest project, and it was utterly desecrated, brother. It's purity deflowered before it even had a chance, absolutely ravaged. You know how I am with my knittings."_

_"As tight as your spellwork, I understand your point, dearest mirror." Oh, he's used an old pet name, that's always nice isn't it~?_

_Ah, yes. Reminiscence, a truly debatable pastime. will it bring joy, or sorrows? Leave it to discretion of context, shall we?_

 

_Of course he'd try to put you off track, lovable sweet talking thing he is, but you are not one to be derailed,"I'd actually like to discuss the matter of our visiting company with you. If you would, may I hear your thoughts?"_

_Upon hearing your inquiry, he stiffens a little, but later relaxes and sinks into his seat more comfortably. You can see his thought process considering the matter of the Alternians, turning it over and over, like when he inspects his bones, ancient relics from the ground of civilizations past_ (Aha, there's an idea for his next birthday) _. When he's sorted out his mind, he says,"I feel...that yes, of course we exercise caution and consider possibilities where this may in fact all be a ploy, a play at our lives. I mean, they do have all eight Lords and Ladies of Skaia gathered in one place. Why not pick us all off and takeover our world?" His speech becomes tense, shaken even._

_He takes a breath, working back down to a calmer mind,"Although, I also feel that this is not their intent at all. The Empress does not speak with the rhythm of a liar, not even of a good one. She speaks like someone young and trying to make change happen, in spite of all the odds against her, as if all she believes she needs to do is try hard enough and the things she wants will eventually come. Like a child full of hope. Such people cannot lie about these kind of things, sister. Look at Jake, he's a damn terrible liar, isn't he?"_

_You hum in agreement, it's actually a really good answer._ (You...weren't sure, isn't that strange? For you. To not be sure. It doesn't...didn't feel right. In all truth, you're so relieved, that your other half could give you something so reassuring.) _"I'd like to agree with you on that," you sip at your tea some to better collect yourself, as the conversation in fact is not over, not in the slightest._

_"Now that we can put that matter aside, I had another thing I'd like to speak with you about. What are your thoughts about them, as individuals?"_

_Dave takes to a questioning look, the apprehension slides his mask of nonchalance out of place,"I...hold on, in what context do you mean?"_

_"In perfectly normal context, of course."_

_"Bullshit. You know_ damn _well that's not what you mean, I know you well enough."_

_"I would hope so, dearest half."  
_

_"Oh shut it. Isn't that your thing anyways? Your **Seeing** is an ability more suited for that."_

_"Hmm, yes, it is. But it's not like I can take them alone one by one, sit them down at a table and not expect them to feel especially awkward..."_

_Dave groans,"Outer's sake, you want to use me for some flighty scheme you have. Trying to goad me into it like some dull sap," he accuses._

_"Why Dave, you've saved me the trouble of explaining. I wouldn't say 'use', though. More like 'recruit', that sounds much better. 'Acquire your services', even. Take your pick."_

_He rolls his eyes behind his visor before giving in to your whims,"...Alright, what exactly is it I'm doing, then?" He's only going along because you know that he knows he would've have ended up doing it sooner or later, regardless of you. You're just there for extra guidance._

_You curl your mouth in delight, highly appreciative of the fact that you've gotten your way,"I just need you to do what you do best."_

 

 

.

✮☆★♋★☆✮

.

 

Why are you here?

What were you doing, before now?

 

You recognize the sterile white, beige, and navy blue that belongs distinctly to the local hospital you sometimes work at. Usually, it's a welcoming sight, but not when you don't have any remembering of how you got in here.

And you mean specifically in here, in this one room where they have your wonderful substitute teacher nearly quarantined away, a whole ward-wing isolated for these folks what caught this new, incurable sickness.

 

~~_\--Stupid boy. Because it's no sickness they got.--_ ~~

~~_(Not again. Shut up.)_ ~~

 

There's that familiar, _awful_ , dread-pain that starts out in your head, then travels through the body, stirs up your gut and gunks up your pusher. All fucks kind of sicknasty-terrible. You ignore it _(you've ignored it before, you damn well sure can motherfucking do it again. ~~Can you get more sopo-~~ You're okay, you're gonna be okay, it's gonna pass. It'll hurt like a bitch, but it's gonna pass, then you'll feel...not better, but not as bad either)_.

What you hope is that you were feeling worried for her and somehow in your lapse of self, your subconscious led you up here. To check, right? To make sure they're okay?

 

~~_\--You know what to do. Do it.--_ ~~

~~_( **NO**. Go away.)_ ~~

 

The sharp, bursting pain in your head returns, and you clutch claws at yourself, almost breaking skin, just until you can breathe it down, make yourself calm ~~_(make the extra noise inside go away)_~~. You glance over at Ms. P's resting form on the gurney, and then, as if drawn, you shuffle forward. Why are you moving? You didn't _want_ to move and if anything, you should be moving the other way, out of the room. You don't belong in here, intruding as you are.

Still, your body doesn't listen, acts without permission of you, like another has control of the strings ~~_(like you're a puppet)._~~

 

You're at the bedside now, finally stopped, hearing your teacher's long, restful breaths. At the very least, she seems so at peace. You hope that there's at least some nice dreams playing for her in her head.

There's a new sensation, a buzzing, in your ears, riding up your spinal, up your horns. Now, you feel...a _lot_. Too much. _The fuck??_

So much sensory information pours into you _(how?? What is this, what's going on?? ~~What's wrong with you!?~~ ),_ to the brim, it's like an overload. At any moment, you could burst, break down, flood the gates and be overwhelmed _(like you aren't already)_.

 

~~_\--Do it. NOW.--_ ~~

~~_( **NO**. SHUT UP. I DON'T WANT TO.)_ ~~

 

Now, you can feel. Feel the fuzz bits of, what, of something. What is that _(it feels so happy, so wonderful)_?

Your hand moves. Why? You're not telling it to. You're telling it to stop, stop _reaching_. Go back, give it back ~~_(whoever has your strings, give them back)_~~.

No.

Stop. _Stop_ moving!

 

The door clicks, but it's like you were never at the bed to begin with. Your body is over within the curtains as someone walks in, the door remains open, but because of how the hospital is designed, it starts to automatically, slowly close itself.

In a desperate, last-ditch effort, your arm shoots out and latches to the door frame, physically pulling yourself out of the room, pulling yourself free.

You walk past the nurses station, past the restrooms, the breakroom, past everything until you find that one empty waiting room, and it's empty because the visiting hours for this ward end earlier than the others, and you sit down against a wall and hold yourself all curled up and breathe.

 

_The motherfuck was all that?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think maybe i'll keep 'episodes' limited to 2-4 chapters, it might simplify some editing time
> 
>  
> 
> ~~~~  
> _SAILOR GEMINI IS SOON_  
>  ((also, if anyone catches any spelling errors, i am totally okay if you tell me, like pls, i'll find it but forget where, it would help a lot))  
> (((ALSO ill give y'alls 3 guesses to what sollux was thinking)))

**Author's Note:**

> The [Sailorstuck FAQ](https://sailorstuckart.tumblr.com/) is now open!
> 
> please come talk to me about Sailorstuck!! :DD


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